Why Chasing the AMERICAN DREAM Is Making Us UNHAPPY - Dr. Esther Zeledon is RightOffTrack | Anya Smith

what got you to where you are right now
is that 92% of people give up on their dreams
you know only 8% really go after that
cause I really believe that
if you actually go after your dream
really go after your legacy and everything
there be less anxiety in the world
less depression
less terrorism right
and just more happiness all around
cause I had that little voice in my head over the years
feel like you're
there's more out there
you should be going after it
but it was confusing
and I had this best friend
I started to realize they're talking to her
and I'm actually very entrepreneur
because she was an entrepreneur
and I'm here
telling her about the ideas that I had at work
and also outside of work
and she's like Esther
you're very entrepreneur
but no one had ever said that to me
because I had always been in the workforce you know
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right off track
enjoy this episode
going off track is taking a chance on yourself
following your polls of curiosity
it's making your own decisions
the most wonderful adventure
hey friends
today's episode is of a renowned life coach
scientist author
and international diplomat who has LED innovation
in the way high achievers and organizations
approach their goals
known for her unique
formula that transcends cultures and communities
she's here to share her insights on creating
sustainable growth
so let's step into this powerful strategies
with our steam guest
doctor and Doctor
Esther Zelldaun of the future
welcome welcome
so excited to have you here
thank you so much
I'm so excited to be here
what is a little bit of the backstory
the backstory is
is that 92% of people give up on their dreams
you know only 8% really go after that
and that for me is just terrible
you know like that statistic really
really is what really drives me
um I really want to see people that statistics switched
I really wanna see that
92% of people go after your dreams and only 8% give up
cause I really believe that
if you actually go after your dream
really go after your legacy and everything
there be less
anxiety in the world
less depression
less terrorism right
and just more happiness all around
and I think all that negativity fuels up
because people have given up
right and so
they're looking for something to belong to
some community
to attach to
some purpose in life
no so that is uh
what I do now
you know that's
that's what
that's how my business came to be
and it's called be Act
Change you know
I birthed it from that place that
I know how to help people discover their purpose
their mission
and division
really unpack that rates in there
but really like
help them take it out
unpack it you know
take away all those limiting
beliefs that they have throughout their whole life
and really get clear on that
and not just discover and identify it
but then really map it out
and let's really make it happen
and then let's keep it going
so I have that is my value add to the world
you know that's what I can do for folks
and you know
and I've been doing that my whole life
so then I was like well
why don't I make a business out of this right like
why don't I create something that's not just a business
but it's a movement
that can really help people you know
all around the world
to the people that really wanna do this you know
impact life
and really just change the world
oh my gosh I sense the energy I'm
I'm in and that sounds amazing
in exactly line of what I see around
how purpose and finding can really change your life
why do you think the majority of us
are not pursuing our purpose
as you mentioned
it sounds like
the thing that can change our life for the better
why are so many of us holding back then
well on my book
I have this thing
so I have a book out
and it says
I have it called
Creating Your Limitless Life
but I have crossed out chasing the American Dream
and the reason why I have that right
so the American dream is not just the US
right it's like
a global phenomenon
but it's you know
and when we think about it
first we're like
but why would you cross that out
isn't the American dream all about
like hope and dreaming
and all those things
well one side
the other side of it is very
of these fixed timelines and mindset
right like you have to be married by certain age
you have to have kids by a certain time
you have to have a house
you have to have a certain title
certain amount of wealth
and it's it defines that
if you don't have that
by that fixed timeline
or by whatever measure that's around you in society
you have not made it
so a lot of us
you know it's
it's that right
either we have achieved the American dream
and so we're
filled with guilt of like
why am I not happy
I should be grateful
um there's something wrong with me
because it was never your dream to go after
and then there's the other side of it
of people who maybe you know
took different paths and haven't made that
and so they feel that they have to make that first
before they can give themselves
permission to do that
so the root of it all is like fear right
it's either fear of losing everything you've built
you know and like everything
like whatever you identified yourself with
your whole life
the title or fear of you know
disappointing others
fear of failing right
fear that it's unrealistic and all that
so fears like
the big thing that holds everyone back
and it's like
all based on that
right like this
this guilt and letting other people down and
and because we don't always have around us
people that
I've actually
think about it
92% of people
haven't done it
the likelihood
you haven't been around a lot of people that have
so because of that you know
everyone around you has followed the fixed mold
and so you thinking about going after
it's kind of going outside the mold
and that's scary right
it's scary to feel like
you would be the first one to go after it
yeah so which aligned exactly right off track
because I did not have this
this entrepreneurial community
or even a community that inspires you
they can't people can't say
look at the five closest people around you
and you were the average
and I take no offense
and I'm not putting down anybody around me
but it wasn't like I had this inspiration
like oh my gosh
they're motivating me to do X y Z
I was grateful
but I was like
how the heck
like where do you find people
and why would they care to even talk to me
and so I can completely relate to
you know following the path that you see around
because the other path seems so unknown
and um you talk of such conviction and energy
and you mentioned that this is you know
something that you're really passionate about
was this really always the case for you
where you had this conviction or did
was there a path that LED you to this
I've always
always been obsessed with purpose now
of course I followed
I am the person that followed the American dream
right so I mean
my story is like you know
I was born in Nicaragua
we immigrated when I was a small child
but even before we immigrated
when I was a small baby
I had gotten really sick
so I was given three weeks to live
and so my dad played the lotto and he won
and he saved my life
which is amazing
but they spent all the money on saving me
so when we immigrated to the US
like it was during a civil war
we we couldn't go with anything
and so we I grew up living paycheck to paycheck
you know the law and went to the largest
public school in the United States
but and so that kind of
I grew up with this thing of
I owe it to my family
you know they saved my life
and then on top of like
I really wanted to get out of that paycheck
paycheck stress and anxiety right
like for me
financial stability was so important and so
like necessary
you know vital
and so because of that
I chased the drink
I chased the American drink
but I always
always had a lens for purpose and misalignment
so I remember being as a kid
the one place I could go
and it was the library
right and it's not like I would check out books
and that's when I would try
cause I didn't have it around
like you said
like I didn't have a circle of inspiration
so I would read books
about other people that were changing the world and
and how to books and
and even travel books
cause I want to travel the world too
and I would try to study what they were doing
what they're doing
but the one thing I noticed was that
there was always talk about purpose
and talk about knowing your why
and all the stuff
but very few people
and actually I didn't find any
said anything about how to do that you know
and so I was always like
how am I gonna do that
I know it's important
but how do I find that
what do I do
how do I know what it is
I mean so I was like okay
let me take pieces of different people's philosophy
and I kinda knew you know
I would kinda read between the lines
and I was like well
it must be like oh
my calling somehow
and I knew I wanted to impact the world
so I was like okay
well I think how I you know
I start following people's formula back then
but you know
I was still being taught the American dream
so I was like oh
it has to be by title
so I was like oh
most people have doctors in front of their name okay
so and that's how I kind of was like okay
let me go on the path of
I'm gonna be the best student
I'm gonna get the
the best grades and the scholarship and all that
but I mean it was an enormous pressure I put on myself
you know like I
and I talk about this in my book like a 16
I tried to take my own life because I felt
like I was a burden to people
I felt that
it was so unobtainable
it just everything
you know and
um it's funny
cause everyone thought that I was
it was because
you know I had
broken up with my high school boyfriend
but it was one
it wasn't necessarily that
it was that
all of a sudden
I'm sad and I'm being a burden
and all of a sudden um
it's it's what I had mapped out for my life you know
what I thought I was looking was not going the way
it was all the pressure that I had put on myself
on what I thought I needed to be
and then you know
I I went through so many struggles
you know like I
I went to college
and I almost failed my first semester
because I didn't know how to like
I was working
bunch of jobs and studying
and I didn't know how to map out like
the different goals right
all of a sudden
I went from top of my class at the
largest public school
to now into school filled with people who were
competitive and
and had a lot more exposure to things that I didn't
right and so
I had to catch up
I had to look at my deficit
but I Learned along the way
but I was still chasing the title
so you know
like I remember
like finishing college and finding all the experiences
and I got to travel the world
and then I went to graduate school
but I even noticed
in graduate school
when I had free time here
I was mobilizing
the students right
I was here building community
mobilizing people together
and I was always coaching people that were two chapters
behind me to
to be able to catch up to me
and be alongside
where I was
and so I was always that coach and always that person
and helping people follow their dreams
but I wasn't doing that for myself
because I thought well
I need to keep doing this for everyone else
and the only way I'm gonna have
impact is when I meet this
this American dream
per se right
and and really help the people around me
and so you know
then that LED me to the workforce
and I was like okay
international
development
that's somewhere where you change the world
this is where I'm gonna be you know
and then I got into that field and yes
there was a lot of impact that I made there
but at the same time
I wasn't in full
alignment with me
like half was
and half wasn't
the job also came with
even though you are impacting people
you're still a representative right
you're still confined
to what that organization
represents and so
I didn't have the creative
freedom right
I couldn't have a voice on
platforms to really voice what I'm saying
like right now
you know and so
it was still stifling
but I think
but I was still chasing the ladder
and so it wasn't until I completely
climbed the ladder
and I was sitting there
you know in a director type
position you know
managing a large team
had raised $100 million for his
communities right
great stuff
yeah and I'm sitting here in this room of awards
and I'm like
but is this my life
is this is like
cause I could stay
another 10 years
you know and I was like okay
and and then maybe
eventually you
become ambassador
like the next step
you know all that
but I was like
well is that the
impact in the legacy
I want you know
and at the end of the day
when I start looking at it
what I really enjoyed
was my coaching of my staff
like building up my team
coaching communities
like being able to change the way people saw
development
because the usual
approach is that you go into community
and the experts
go in and tell those
communities
what they need
and I was like
I'm sorry but everyone has
cause I knew for myself
and everyone
I had been helping for years
everyone has a purpose
mission envision
so I'm like
wait these communities
are not that much different from the communities
I've been growing up in
so how could you say that
you have the answer for them
they have their own dreams
and why don't we
instead fund
the dreams that they want to go after
and everyone looked at me
crazy at first
and they're like
yeah but then
what does that mean
cause I'm the expert
and then what does that mean for me
and my value add
and that's when for me
I started clicking
I'm like our value
add is not our title
our value add is not our
technical space sure
that's a great
expertise that we have
but that's not where your value add is
your value add
is whatever
your process
and solving
problems but
it's not necessarily
you telling
someone in and
what they need to do
and instead
why don't we
fund what they want
and you're gonna see
we're gonna have so much more impact
and luckily
once I was in that position
I was able to prove that that
that that approach does work
because then it's
it's owned by the communities
and they soar right
and it's the same
as an individual
you know if actually
like your dream is supportive
like real dream
not being told what to do
like you're really
like fostered
and mentored
and coached
and supported
and what you wanna do
you saw you sore
you like you fly high
and it's the same right
and so for me
it was that like
that was my journey
to them being like
this is my higher
calling I realized
there that this is so much bigger than this institution
this is a global problem
and plus by then
I had ready
years of experience
in the confidence
to be like no
this works you know
what I mean
I had doubted myself
for so long
and I'm like
no no purpose
is not a first
world thing
I'm sorry now
that I've traveled
all around the world it's
it's a global
phenomenon and then
like second
we all deserve it and and
and I've seen
and I saw people that
when they actually had the
space to go after it
they did amazing
amazing things
and so that's
when I was like no
this is what I have to do
and that's what
gave me that courage
then to leave it and embark
and create this
you know and
and I had to believe that
this would work
you know what I mean
and I think that was
the first step for me
was like really
believing that
my value add
was valuable
you know and then
it could create
something that
that I have
today ah yes
sir you are
such a gift to the world
and it's you know
we talk about
the story of
your incredible
you know life
and from very beginning
there was this
you miraculous event
you know like
being given
such a dramatic
medical diagnosis
and then have the
the you know
the life gift
of having a lottery
to say like
what an incredible gift
and from the beginning
that's cool that's it
I don't know
it just seems like
divinity maybe I'm
I'm not religious
but I just believe
in little signs like that
it was like
this person is meant to do something
really special
in the world
and here is
the gift to them
and I also love
in the story
and I think
everyone can
relate does
that we believe
that you know
something is
challenging now
something is not working
why why why
but I truly
see that if you
reflect on your journey
every step is
preparing you
for the next step
so how beautiful
when you're talking about
hey you know
here I went to school
and now here I am
in this position
and my experience
of being able
that being able
to talk to my community
we're saying
you know would
this really work
as I can relate to
being that person
the community
has changed
the way you see things
right now so
it's beautiful
how the journey
sometimes we
don't take it
and we take it
for granted
right like oh
why this is
not really cool
whatever but then
I just look at the
universe and how it
wisely shapes
every experience
and then like
exactly everything
that you maybe
took for granted
prepares you to serve
the best way possible
and you mentioned
that you had
this reflection
about having
confidence right
now to do more
was there a final
like breaking point
where you said
you know what
I'm I'm done
and can you describe
in a little
more depth like
what was the
was what was that like
because I'm sure
it wasn't hard as well
oh definitely
cause I had that little voice in my head over the years
be like you're
there's more out there
you should be going after it
but it's confusing
and so that's why I'm like
I relate to you know
there's a listener out there that's confused
I get it because at first
I found it so confusing sometimes that I was like
maybe it's because
I haven't reached the next check Mark
and that's when it will go away
but the thing is
the little voice never goes away the
until you're in alignment
but at that time I was kind
it was so confusing because I was like
well like in in
in my journey
you know what it means
I had been married before and got divorced
you know I was always like
well when I get
that happens
I will feel better
you know and
and it's not true
it wasn't until like it's
it's the alignment that makes you feel better
so in that time
you know I had reached that
position that I had wanted for so long
and I did amazing things in it
but I was sitting there in the awards
and I had to make a decision in the next year or so
you know which country to go into next
what type of position
what to do and I was
I always map out like my next five years of my life
you know so I'm always like
always map it out right
but it was like
I map it out and I'm like
this is what I'm gonna do
this is the impact I made you know
and so even in that position I was like
I'm gonna raise 80 million and I raised 100
but I had this thing
but I was sitting there
you know and and I remember I had
I had this best friend
and she was my hairdresser
and she was a hairdresser for the community of expats
so she would always use my house as the base
and she would come over all the time and um
and she had
she would come between clients
and she was the first one that other than my husband
that I would openly speak about you know
like I have these crazy ideas
like I start to realize that
I started to realize through talking to her
and I'm actually very entrepreneur
because she was an entrepreneur
and I'm here
telling her about the ideas that I had at work
and also outside of work
and she's like
Esther you're very entrepreneur
but no one had ever said that to me
because I had always been in the workforce
you know and so I was an entrepreneur in a
organization right
I was like oh
that's true
and then we started just playing around and we started
designing bathing suits together
which side note
we designed one
we designed one okay
and I have a picture with it
I have a picture with it
and it's great
it was like a mommy bathing suit
but that was still sexy
it was like funny right
it was like something I needed at the time
a solution right
and it's so funny because like
a couple months ago
I'm on the internet and I'm looking at Nadia Ferrera
Mark Anthony's wife
and she's in the swimsuit
and it's the exact one I designed
wow and it's like an of course
hundreds of dollars that companies multi
multi millionaire find right
but we didn't
I just did it for fun with her
but I was like
wow imagine if I would have taken that idea
and done something with it
but we had to you know
come up with these ideas
and then we started being like
well maybe like
we can do more together
and then I but the way I would talk about it is
when I retire
how many how many times do we hear that from people
when I retire
when I retire
because I was like oh
I'm only eight years away from my pension
because since I was an international diplomat
the years are a little less than
a traditional government
so I was like
oh 8 years 8 years
cause you know
I'll have my pension
and then I can retire
right you know
I was taught right
put your head down and work hard
and retirement is
your freedom is life
when you start life at retirement
exactly and that's when you'll have creative freedom
so I I we would talk so much about these crazy ideas
I mean the and the thing is
a lot of them weren't crazy
and so we would say hey like
you know what
we'll start it together
and maybe you can start it while I'm working here
since I can't have a business on the side
well she she started getting a lot of headaches
and her doctor said she needed a surgery
and so I was like
oh don't worry
I'll help you
fundraise the neighborhood
so we fundraised for her surgery
and everyone was willing to help
like everyone loved her you know
and it was wonderful and um
so that was a Thursday
and I was supposed to see her on Monday
you know after surgery
and her daughter slept over
the weekend
everything's fine
on that Saturday
we got a call that she didn't make it
and for me that's when I hit rock bottom
because it was like
what I mean
she wasn't that much older than me
and she had all these dreams and aspirations
that no one knew about
I knew about them
and for me that was my wake up call
like I I went
and I was a zombie for like
weeks right
but I went to her funeral
and it was it's a
it's a very cultural funeral
Latino funeral
but it was all about
everyone else there
and not about her
it was not a Celebration of life
and it was all about like
our times gonna come
let's reflect our time
and I was so angry
and it's not anyone else's
fault but I
I that's how I knew right
I was angry
at the funeral
I mean sad and angry
because I'm like
why aren't people talking about
the amazing person she was
why aren't people talking about all the dreams she had
in the impact
she made like
she made an enormous
impact on my life
why aren't people
like shouting that out from the rooftops
like why are we living out our legacies
and from there I was like
you know what life
life is short
and and why
and then I did some inner
reflection on myself going
I had this pattern in my life
where I was
waiting for
someone else to do it with me
it's kind of like
I was reading a book recently
about Prince Charming
even though
I didn't see it in terms of a man
I saw it in terms of
either my job that would
they would automatically
see how brilliant I am
and the opportunities
will come to me or I
and you know
and at one point
but I did see it as
as a man that
I would marry
someone that was
entrepreneur
and all of a sudden
like the doors
would open for me and
and then I realized for why
why am I not my own
Prince Charming
and I started to realize
I need to do this for myself
like I don't need to
wait for someone you know
to do this with me
and she's not gonna be here with me
that was really hard
so I'm like wow
I'm gonna have to do this alone now
I would have
she's the person
I would have wanted to do this with it
and and I went for it
so that was my breaking
like point where I was
like really
reflecting on
on death on my own legacy
and then also like
man eight years
all of a sudden
felt really long
you know what I mean
like to wait for pension
I'm like eight years is a really long time
like in eight years
I could create so much
and I knew that
from planning
we always I overestimate
we can do one year
and underestimate the power
influence we can have in five
and I'm like
why don't I create
when I wanna create
in the next
eight years instead
you know I mean
and I can always go back to this later
like I don't have to choose the safe route
and I need to do
I need to coach myself
like I coach others
and and so that's why I went after it
you know I was
honor her legacy and also
honor myself
you know what I mean and
and and really
like live yeah
and what is your friend's name Rita
Rita thank you for honoring Rita
she sounds like an incredible
human being
yeah she was
she was amazing
I thank you for being so genuine
I know it's a vulnerable
story to share
and it makes me think
what a difference it could have
to somebody
like you said
believing in you
to somebody who opens up your reality
and gets you speaking
thinking about
what's more
as possible
which could be a coach
just that one person
that see like
we think we need this
big thing you know
a savior or somebody
but we really just need like
somebody that gives us a little push
and permission
to think a little bit differently
my hope is if you're listening to this podcast
this is for you too
and that if you
nobody's around you
like this is your permission sign
like we believe in you
and you can do something a little different
to support your path
um if I if you don't mind me sharing
I have a friend um
oh my personal friend
and when I got laid off
she let me know that um
some serious
like health conditions
came back again
like really bad she's um
her son is in the same preschool with my son
so they're like
4 and 5 year old
and she had breast cancer before
and they had to do
you know like
everything of severe
it went away
and she let me know
like as I'm facing layups
and I was so sad
that um cancer
came back into her life
and like she's been dealing with it and like
it's such a different
perspective
like when you worry about like
oh I'm not getting
you know paid
or I'm waiting
about interview
like those things that happen
they put a very different
reflection in your life
and um she's
she's dealing with it
and it's very
very serious
and she was thinking
you know like
no matter what
you have to focus on
experiences
and we focus on it
way too late
when it's too late
we're like okay
yeah really
we need to focus on
experiences
and time with the family
but then if it's not so dire
it's very easy to lose track of
our time however
prioritizing
what we're doing in life
because we take it for granted
right like oh
I can do eight years
I can do 20 years
retirement is only three decades away
ha ha I have something
so it is challenging
and I wish that we had more in us to not let
those catalyst be the point that we'd make
those reflections
I think that frequently does happen when we hit
rock bottom
or we see something very serious happen around us
um but also appreciate that you took that
and did something of it impactful to honor your friend
and also do more of your life
so Sheriff is now like
what is your passion
now that you've had this reflection
you dove into this different space
what what have you created
and that we can all learn from
yeah so you know
I have this book and this workbook out
which to me was a miss
a big part of my legacy
because I feel like
wow you know
I've done did all this stuff right
and I had the opportunity to do all these things
um but what was missing for me is the accessibility
to everyone right
I want the person that's like me
that only had the library
to be able to pick it up at any time in their life
you know they don't necessarily have to be a student
right they could be my age
they could be students 70
a board of seven year olds
you know that can pick it up and really do the work
do the exercises
and get that clarity
and then find that alignments and that
that happiness that comes with it
you know like happiness is on the way
right to fulfillment
and I really want everyone to have that
so for me it was so important when I wrote this book
for it to be available for 99 cents
like the book and the workbook
because I didn't want ever it to be that
finances are reason why you don't have accessibility
and like and I think like I mentioned earlier
like the book for me
I also put the how and all of it right
so the how is there
all the exercises are there you know
like my workbook is my full coaching program
it's all out there
you know people thought that that was crazy of me
they were like
but that's your IP
and I'm like
but this is the thing like
you know people I
I believe they're an abundance right
like at the end of the day
you can do the workbook
but people are still gonna come to me for help
you know I mean
just because if I give value
more values gonna come my way
so my book and my workbook is it
that's what it's out for
so like people really want like to slay 2024
you know like
really wanna be clear on their stuff
and like it teaches you how to
the difference between a purpose and a goal right
because your purpose and we can do it exercise
here is how you show up every day
all right it's your unique how it's
it's a daily thing
it's not a destination
you know while your
your legacy is a destination
and then you can break down right into goals
into milestones
into steps and tasks and all that
and that's and that's awesome
but you're it's like
the purpose is what
you're doing every day to the leads up to your legacy
and it's a lot of times people confuse that right
or they think like oh
but I my purpose has changed all the time
I wanted to be a doctor than engineer
but then I challenged that because I'm like
look I I've sat in rooms with kids
where you'll have 10 kids say
I wanna be a doctor and engineer
but the characteristics of that career
is very different
cause it's not about that
it's it's it's not about the titles
is that right now
those are the titles
they know that's the possibilities
they know as the vehicle
of where they can show up
as themselves and where they can bring in their purpose
but it's not about the title so yeah
you can have
throughout your life
five different things you wanted to do
but the how
and what you wanted to bring in there is all the same
because in the end
like my way of you know
my my purpose in life to help people discover their
their purpose and live it
I was doing that in graduate school
and high school and college right
and every place that I was working
and that's when international development
I'm like oh
I'm gonna help communities do that right
it was always my lens of entering every space or
academia with students right
or scientists come up with the formula
that's why I made my thing
into a formula right
it was always through that lens
and so you know
what I love about the exercise
is that even if you're
you know my age
and you feel like
I can't pivot
cause it's so far
the exercises
help you realise actually
you're not really pivoting that much
cause you've always been that person
it's just let's
repackage your experience
let's reframe it
let's rebrand it
that all your experiences
tied to your purpose
and honestly
like we should be doing that all the time
in job interviews
in places and pictures
because people wanna know
are you aligned
people wanna know what you bring right
and if you're clear about that
you even start attracting
opportunities
that are super unique to you
um so that's
that's what I have out in the world right now
right ha ha
I do speaking
and I do coaching
but I would love to do one of the exercise
here for the listeners
so I thought I love it
yes uh um yes
let's go ahead and do that
I just I was thinking to myself
when I started this journey
I had no clue what my purpose was
I just had a hunting
I just could help people
and what I realized
to your point
is that a lot of times
it's not that we change to find purpose
is that we uncover it
and as I'm doing it
I was really like
you know what
all along I had this little intuition
I had this little intuition
and so the more we actually
honor that journey and give it space
the more it's more like a click
a click aha
this brings me to life
this really motivates me
like these are how moments
make you realize
it's not that you change to find purpose
is that you'd discover
things that maybe you didn't reflect on as much
and yeah I I always
had this vision that
realise that my
my journey was always about getting that goal
getting that goal
getting that goal
and recently
somebody was saying to me
the energy that you put into getting a goal
is the same energy gonna have when you receive it
and I was like
oh no oh oh
I am in trouble
so if you wanna find your purpose
I'm really honouring that
the journey
is what it's all about
it's not about the destination
you have to create a journey that you enjoy
and that's a struggle for me
cause I have all these habits
that I'm like
oh I'm working myself
I'm saying yes to things
I shouldn't be
so but that is my goal
like I keep coming back to like
enjoy the journey
and that will honor your purpose most fully
and the things that
you're meant to get to
those goals
that would be a natural
progression of that journey
so let's dive into
the exercise
you wanna share
I'm excited for that
yeah no and I
before I said
I said I do want to say absolutely
you know like
we don't celebrate enough
like I have a Celebration calendar
you know like
those free ones that come in the mail
I literally put down every day
something to celebrate you know
being on this podcast
uh you know
writing a title of something that
even when I wrote my book
like writing the title
the paragraph
cause we always wanna
celebrate when we've reached
whatever destination it is
but then it's just like one day
we haven't celebrate the entire journey
and sometimes
it's not about making the journey
it's not about finishing
so they just
even the discovering and the learning we did
along the way
it's worth celebrating
and as we when we change that
that framework
then it doesn't become like
we're waiting to then
and waiting
for this lightning
to strike right
we learn to
fine happiness
in the day to day
and then you can look at the whole year and be like wow
look how much
amazing things
happened to me all year
cause imagine
if I could have
celebrated the book
the book took me 18 months
that will be crazy
this already on
you know me
like that would have been like
unsatisfying
instead I celebrate
every step every
every part I left in everything that I shared
you know and so
I encourage
everyone to have like
the Celebration counter
even if it just means like
hey I did self care for an hour today
I said no to something
you know I um
I don't know
I got to bond
today with someone
I met someone amazing
like all those things
like add on
imagine amazing value
to our lives
and to our everyday
so the exercise
ha ha let's do it
let's do it
let's do it okay
so if we're gonna start with the
I'm gonna start with you
the question
so if you had to pick one global
problem to solve
what would that be
education
okay education awesome
so the G7 heard your
heard your answer
you know the global summit
they're like
wow I know that was amazing answer
okay so we wanna give you two to five billion dollars
to solve um
education but we need to know how you
how you plan to do that yeah
and well my
my my vision
although I don't have time for rent
I envisioned creating more resources that
inspire kids to be more entrepreneurial
right so it's whether giving them like
well to your point
it have to be community based right
so you have to go to each community to understand like
what resources are available there that maybe give them
uh mentorship or something related to that
to give them like opportunities that they can innovate
within an entrepreneurial kind of um
structure within their environment
so they feel like it's local and relevant
and also it's people who they can emulate
in front of that environment
but the idea
like our discussion talks about
is that education right now is so much of a
do this to get a grade
and it gives a sense like
oh well if you get a grade that's a
that's awesome
right but we're not teaching kids to like
solve problems that are challenging
become like fail
become comfortable failing
and then see adults around you who
that's their normality
so I would educate in
in invest in creating resources that give a
like a top down educational approach to kids
where they also get to uh
meet people who are entrepreneurs
it's in their community
inspire them and kind of have this symbiotic
relationship between another
and invest in kind of more resources
maybe giving the people who are creating that education
um more opportunities and rewards and education
how to be better mentors as well
and then scale that as much as possible
that's that's amazing
and actually
as you were talking
I'm like oh my God
that's just like this podcast right
so now I question is
right you see
you put down your steps right
it's about giving people resources
um empowering them
I heard a lot of like
empowering them and also giving them by I guess
representation and mentorship
right so they know that
that other people like them exist right
so I'm hearing a lot of that now
now that we talked about your process and your
how when you think about your personal life
or when a friend comes to you with a problem
or when a stranger comes with you a problem
do you use that same process with them
probably 2 degree right
I I wanna inspire them and connect them so
so my purpose
as I see it
is connecting people
and inspiring them to see what's more
available in their life
and that I've uncovered because of what I'm doing
that brings me to life
and I truly believe that there's more
and that when we really uncover
that connecting of humans can create something really
powerful that changes the world
because then you're like wow
like there are billions of people in the world
what if I connect with more people and learn from them
and we do something together
and we can you know
unite under the theme of like
entrepreneurship
and we're trying to make an impact versus like
what skin color am I
like what is
I don't know the news
we're really focusing on problem solving in a new way
versus like how different we are
so yes I definitely see that
that passion that I have
that purpose is aligned to how I see it
I also to be honest
but sometimes it's challenging
right when you oh
I know in my day to day sometimes
I know people who are not interested in what I'm doing
and I don't mean that just like
from a podcast or something
like they're not open to thinking that way
and my challenge is also well
my challenge is to like
do I just accept that you know
it probably yes
alright um like
how do you inspire people who don't want to
how do you approach that is probably my challenge
yeah I know
that's amazing and
and I think you also unpacked
another thing that you said
like right um
helping people problems solve right
that's like really important to you
but I saw a lot of overlap in your house right
and either in your how and solving the global problem
or your how in your
in your personal life
right and your
and your life in general
and so like
no one answers that how question the same
I've yet to meet anyone right
and so even though the problems
the global problems right
a lot of us will answer similarly
education hunger
whatever right
but the way that we approach that problem
and the way our value add to that problem
the way we uniquely solve it and bring
and bring that change is unique to us
you know very unique to us
and as you start to unpack it more
you start to see more similarities
and like your life right
so like you know
in the workbook right I
I challenge you
but go back into your life
and see how have you solved problems
before right
and unpack it right
like remove a little bit of the technical
but really unpack the process
and you're gonna be like wow
I've actually been doing that my whole life
you probably been connecting people your whole life
you probably been helping people problem solve
your entire life
and you're like
oh well that's
that's really what the value I bring
that's that's what I
that's what I do in my everyday right
and it's about being in spaces where you can bring that
right so you
you told me right now
like you know
there might be people who are
who are not
or that right
and one of things to unpack is
is that your how though
is your how to persuade other people
or is your how really
to the people that
need it and want it
right and that's
and that's something that
you know it's what
it's what I help people
discern right
is that's how you know
to filter right
is my how in
persuading the person that's not persuaded
or is it more about
empowering the person that wants those
resources to problem solve and see them sore
but once you have that clarity
you'll ignore the rest
cause you're like
well that's not
that's not in my house
I'm not the persuader
someone else's right
if you wanted to build a team right
that's what I love about this exercise
there could be someone else's how
that's all about
persuading the naysayer
and you're like
I need you on my team
because we have all these naysayers
you love doing that
you love showing up that way
you would be a perfect asset
and together
we can grow this thing right
and so yeah
that's what's awesome about it
so like that's just one of the exercises
in my workbook
because that's what I see so much in like
teams and in communities right
like I think we're not
we don't value we
we only look at like the title and the technical thing
right but we don't value
like our unique way of solving problems
and that and that when we bring in everyone's
unique how right
we form this amazing puzzle together
because then
we're building on each other's strengths
that goes beyond like
our training and technical
and not that we can't use that
when needed
but it's so much more powerful
we can show up
in the way that we want to show up
and then also
lean on other people whose strengths that we
we don't want to tap into
right that they want to tap into right
so imagine like
you brought in that other person
it's perfect combo
right so that's
you know that's
that's how we
approach things
but we don't ask people those questions right
so like a lot of
even the exercise
I have in the workbook
I'm like text five of your champions in your life
and tell them
that I gave you the homework
because I know it's awkward
because we haven't changed that narrative in society
but ask them
how have I impacted your
life and how
like and when
because when they tell you that
you're gonna realize wait
it's a lot of the language I just said in my house
they're gonna be like
you know they're gonna use a lot of the same thing
I'm sure when you ask them
they're gonna tell you that you connected
people that you
help them solve problems
and then you're gonna be like oh my God
but then they'll also tell you other things that you
may not have
in your radar
and that's gonna be like
oh well I have this other
unique value
I didn't even know
and when I did that
I didn't even remember that
but then that helps
like the puzzle
piece right
but imagine
if we would do that more often with each other right
we could help right
support each other
and find places
that could align
with the other person
that's their fit
you know like
I remember people
some people come to me and like
oh man like
I don't feel like I'm valued here
but I'm like
but you know what
you're gonna be valued somewhere else
maybe they don't need your how to
but I know someone else who's needs your how to
you know who's like
that's gonna change
their business and
and their lives
and they need
they need that from you
oh yeah so many takeaways over there
I'm just like
taking notes
cause I just don't wanna interrupt yes
thank you for the exercise
I love it and
to be Frank
like I cheated a little bit
because I thought about this
entrepreneurship program for kids
for a while
so it's like oh yes
let's totally talk about that
but some of the things that I stood out um
one thing that
obviously is that
that idea of
titles right
well actually
let me jump back a little bit
we talked about
you know that this
that somebody might feel like they don't fit in
and we often
like in society
like you have to be a shoe in for everything right
like there's a one size fit all
and that if something is not working for you
it's your fault
it's as if like again
if you're in a company
and you're not happy
it's like you know
that's that's it
like you're not gonna work anywhere else
it's not be whether
and they could also be like
in a friend group
or maybe you don't feel like you quite fit in
or maybe you're in this group
and you don't fit
like oh that's
I'm never gonna fit in
versus saying like hey
why don't I find a place where I can truly be myself
or my strength shine
or as opposed to trying to dim and change yourself
to fit in an environment where
you truly don't feel like you can shine
and I think that was a big
powerful affection that I had to go through
working at meta
was like oh
and to be less
energetic less bold
because I wanna be more
professional
all that good stuff
and then what's funny is that
I've become
who I am and see my
see my strength
more because I gave it
space and energy
I wasn't always the person who was
connecting people
cause that wasn't something I was really doing right
I wasn't always
embracing my energy
cause people would say oh honey
I love your energy
but I was like
who cares about energy
like you know
it's not AI coding
it's not whatever
who cares about energy
so sometimes
we have things
but we don't give them
space or even
permission to honor that
to see the value in it
so I love the exercise
that really
reflect on that and give
a different
perspective
so you can holistically um
look at it together
and like have that
maybe a different lens
on things that look familiar
but maybe you under
undervalued
before um exactly
I know a lot of
the last thing
I just want to add
is that when I started the
entrepreneurial path
I realized how
getting out of the corporate
which you know
not that that has to happen
but like that changes
your relationship with titles
right like there
was somebody
who's now a good friend
who was like a director
and I met her
met a and we were like
levels apart
so I met her
I thought she was lovely
but we never interacted
cause she was higher above me
and now like
we don't work together
I don't I don't have a title
I'm like a founder
but you know
of my own thing
and now we're really good friends
and titles don't matter
like I reach out to CEOs
and whatever every day
it's because
I don't care
they're still humans
you know and so
like when you
realize that
you get out of it
you realize
how artificial it is
and not that
I don't respect that
but you realize
that people
don't care about titles as much
they care more about the human
what you bring to the table
and so um that was just like a
interesting like
like a blindfold
that you take off like
whoa was that
there along
I just thought
I was so limited
but really those are
limits were
so artificial
oh absolutely
I mean that's for me
why I love the legacy exercise
you know so like
in my workbook
I make people
pretend you know
go into death
you know what I mean
and write their obituary
because I think it's
when you're writing
that exercise
and rewriting it
is when you realize
that no one's talking about your title there
they're talking about the
impact you made
the impact you had on them
how you made them feel
um how you they
talk about your how
let's you know
that question
about your how too
they're talking about that there
and and then
you realize there
that that's not what's
that's not what goes
you know goes with you
you know I mean
the other stuff goes with you
and that it's
it's kind of like
the title was there
maybe you did it for
financial reasons
or whatever you know
I did it for
climbing the ladder to do so
I thought that
it would give me more
opportunity to make change
and all that
but really the
the change was happening
whether I was in the title or not
you know and
and actually
when I let that go
and really saw everybody
for all their
unique value add
I actually was able to make more
impact right
cause sometimes
we get so fixated
the title also
brings about this
this heaviness
of not being able to be vulnerable
right and and
there's so many people
I work with
that have these titles
that then it's like
and actually
you know I write about this in my book
that actually high
high performing
individuals
and high achievers
a lot of times are
are more bullied
than others
but they don't say anything
because they are like
my reputations
on the line
I can't share that
I can't share
that everyone
everyone relies
on me and then
if I do that
you know I could
lose my job
or people will think that
I'm a complainer
and so they're the most
they're the people
who are most likely
to stay silent
and suffer in
silence right
and it's so and
and that's like
another thing that
you know we
we we have to
get away from
that right and
and I remember
writing my book
I'm kind of
sidetracking
but I almost
didn't share
I almost didn't
share my story
because I had
come from that
environment
where you know
public facing
the title but
I had been through a lot
but no one even knew
I had been through
that no one
because I was
like everyone
relies on me
I'm just gonna work hard
and and plus
I was always like
well do everybody
has it worse
so many people have it
worse than me
and this is just
what I have to endure
but at the same time
I did was scared
to share it
because I'm like oh
my reputation
what if my business
doesn't go well
and I need to
go back to that
and I'm sharing
all this stuff
and my reputations
charged and
I have deleted sections
like 5 times
I even went back
to my publisher
and I was like
can we just
share my formula
can we just
share my formula
that's what
people need
not my story
they just need
the formula
of which is like no
like your story
and I was like
but I wasn't
traffic and
I wasn't homeless
they're like
you went through
a lot of stuff
and you need
to share that
you know people
people need to
to to see it
and to hear it
and and to to
be able to feel
themselves in it
and at the end then I
I everytime I was
deleting sections
I would run
into someone
that would share me a story
and they were
going through that
you know or
I would meet with a VP
and they were
like my CEO is
like bullying
me all stuff
and I was like
you know what
like every time
I was like this
is a sign you know
I really believe in
synchronicity
right and I was
like I need to
share my story
and by sharing my story
I'm being authentic
right I can't just
share the great
formula without
sharing like
everything that
I went through
together right
and and but
I'm so glad
I did right
because then
everyone has
like different
people have
reached out
to me sharing
like oh my God
that's happening to me
yes I feel that way
please continue
being the voice
for us because
I can't feel like
I can share
what I'm going through
and and then
you realize
like all of
our stories
matter right
and we don't
we don't share
them we don't
we don't take
that time um
to be to be
vulnerable so I so I
I hear what
what you're saying
you know so
so sometimes
like we hide
also behind
these titles
um because it's
it's safe right and
and we feel like
by that way
it's I feel
like a lot of
it goes back
to like this
the fear and
safety component
oh absolutely
thank you for
sharing your story
I think it's
so important
like the reason
I'm gonna upgrade
this part yes
is to share
the real sides of
the journey
because if we see
only the positives
and then we ourselves
experience struggle
it creates a
sense of like
I'm doing this wrong
I'm failing
I shouldn't
even bother
hopelessness
so we need to see that
and I just so
appreciate you
sharing that
authentically
if you relate to
Ether's story
check out her book
and the resources
like each like
you've heard
these awesome
exercises that
I've loved uh
comment on here
which one was
your favourite
share any details
if you one of
them was really
your favourite
and you feel like
comfortable
sharing you know
what you do
with the money
or what you found
out yourself
I would so love
to hear that
um answer are
there any final
things that
you wanna share
where people
can find you
any final exercise
before we wrap up
with 3 rapid
fire questions
yeah I'll leave
people with
one more exercise
I love it okay
one more one more
because the other
important part is
you know if
you're doing
these exercises
and you're figuring out
your purpose
another big
thing is that
people give up
on it right
so even if you
discover it before
like oh my God
that's you know
it gets hard
and people give up
so another exercise
that I wanna
give people
is to really
um jot down
everything that you've
overcome in
your life you know
whether it's
like for me
it's depression
anxiety I've
also stayed in
things too long
when I should get out
whatever that is
write it all down
and then write
down everything
that helped you
overcome that
and the reason
I put that is
that purpose
has two sites
the positive side
where we talk about
that greatness
how you solve
problems in
the world and
all the how
but that also
attracts you know
this is the
vulnerability
that also put you
in vulnerable
situations on
the opposite
side of it right
so for me because
I'm constantly
like you know
helping people
and doing all that
right sometimes
I stay things
in too long
because I wanna
see them never
give up right
or you know
or I I'm like
you said like
we talked about
right I'm always
trying to trail
blaze things
I feel alone
and that's where
in the depression
or that that stuff
kind of hits
in for other
people's gonna
be different
but the tool
kit that you use
to overcome
your things are
unique to you
right so every
you know you see
on the internet
so much about like
resilience tools
and self care
and there's
tons out there
I even have
a checklist
with like 50
but it's not about like
using all 50
it's about what
has worked for me
and rather than
using it in just
the time that
you hit rock
bottom we need
to change that
approach and
incorporate
those toolkits into our
everyday practice
cause when we
do that right
we don't hit rock
bottom anymore
we don't give up
because we have a
daily practice
of keeping ourselves
afloat of like
having that
resilience right
and and using
the toolkits
that have always
worked for us
and those things
in our everyday
so even when
things get hard
we already have
the daily practice
of doing it
everyday right
so instead of
something that
may have taken us
months to get over
and maybe you know
we forget about
our dreams for
a year maybe
it'd be a week
instead but that's
that's key so
I just wanna
leave people
with that to
really do that
and think about
how can I incorporate
that in my everyday
because that's
what's gonna
keep you going
and that's also super
unique to you
and what's worth you
and things that
were overcoming
we're gonna
keep overcoming
because that's how
you show up
to the world
everyday absolutely
and you keep
learning right
every time you learn
about yourself
yes and if I
can just add
one more thing
that's sincerely
just been really
on my heart
like right now
it's still something
I'm really pondering
is reflecting
on what's not
serving me and why
and what is
serving me and why
so as you're doing this
reflection about
the resilience
things you overcome
I also encourage
you to flex on
like why am I
doing things
like really
honestly and
what is no longer
serving me and
as you're on
this journey
like say no
to things that are not
serving you
and I think
that's also
like honoring
your gut being
intentional
so the reflection
that you do
about resilience
is not only gonna
make you stronger
but will also
give you the
reflection point of
what am I doing
why am I doing
what's not serving me
and I wanna add
and what do
you wanna be
sought out for
didn't I mean
like we need
to be clear
with folks like
this is what I
wanna be sought
out for and
this is what
I don't wanna
be sought out
for before even asked
you know and
and part of
the exercises
also is like
getting clear
on that right
this is what
I want people to
look for me
for and that's
gonna help you
exactly what
you're saying
be like then
the other stuff
you don't wanna
be a son of
or even if you're good at it
that's no longer
serving you
yeah absolutely yeah
everybody has
their specialty
and there's
too much there's
we only have
so much energy
so you gotta
focus it exactly
I love this
I love your
exercises I
need to check
out this book
honestly I am
like sad that
I didn't but I need
I'll fix that
because I love
exercise myself
and I think I can grow
from them um
but here at
right Off Track
we end up with
three rapid
fire questions
so whenever
you're ready
I'm ready okay
let's see one
country that
inspires you
the most one
country that
inspires me
the most um
wow I'm not
prepared for
this one ha
ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha
ha um I would
say Australia
and I would say because when
you kind of shared that earlier
you know like
I didn't have an entrepreneur community when I started
and I was like
you know you gotta
you gotta go out and find champions and circles
right to create that
and so Australia
I found the community
amazing entrepreneur women in Australia
and they're and really into growth mindset and
and growing and
and I got to visit this past summer
and meet them in person
and so Australia inspires me
but just because of all the amazing people that
welcomes me from the other side of the world
into their community
shout out to all those late amazing people in Australia
yeah I love that
you know and
and that's another
reminder that
people can be champion you around the world
that you doesn't have to
absolutely not there right now in
in your neighborhood that you lose sight of that goal
there could be people around the world
who want to champion you because you're aligned
we have all the tools now to make this connect okay
now I'm getting sidetracked okay
best piece of advice you've ever received
to imagine the future you know
so I think I got the image
and I almost failed my first semester in college and um
and then I got a tutor and I thought
she's gonna tutor me in subjects
and actually she didn't
she was like my first coach and tutored me in life
you know coached me in life
and I think imagine who you want to be
who do you want to aspire to
you know think about who do you admire now
and be that person
you know so for me
it's like I I
I look at that person I'm like
I am that person now right
and so just like embody that
visualize what they're doing what they're saying
and just start doing that
so I think like that was the advice icon and
and when I started doing that
I start to notice like even how I
showed up every day changed
I love it and last but not least
in the positive context
going off track is
it's going after your purpose that beautifully said
I really loved our conversation yes
but to all of our listeners again
share with us what stood out to you the most
what exercise was your favorite
check out your resources
where should people find your book
your resources
opportunity work with you
yeah so I'm on Instagram
b.act dot change
I'm also on LinkedIn
and my book is in Barnes and Nobles Books
and books and Amazon
it's called Creating Your Limitless Life
there's a book and a workbook
yeah so you can just find it on any of your favorite
online book retailers
and and I think as I mentioned
I have the e book version for 9 9 cents
and then you can also order the physical copy
if you know
I like to write in books
you know if you like that
and was awesome in this episode
is gonna come across right before Christmas
or the New Years
so if you wanna make an excellent gift for somebody
or for yourself
this is the time
this is just like the serendipity of the moment
where this great gift could be helping you
somebody you know
who's going for something
maybe struggling
wants a little resource
here you go
will be an excellent gift
you can thank us later
and to all of us again
I wanna thank you so much for investing
your time and spending it with us
um I'm always
excited to hear what you gain and what stood out to you
and as always
let's take over the world together
right off track
and Doctor Esther
thank you so much for joining us
thank you thanks to all the listeners
my pleasure
so the backstory is
Anya Smith here
that got you to where you are right now