How to EMPOWER Your SOUL and Become a Success-FULL BadASS - Shelley Paxton is RightOffTrack | Anya Smith

listen I quit
so you don't have to
as what I often say to people
I'm not telling you to leave your job
what I'm telling you is we get to create
success in a way that feels full and not empty
we have choices that we get to make every single day
we choose pause over push
those beats is what we need to be creative
to be innovative
to show up as badasses
to show up powerfully for ourselves and our teams
and our families
and our communities and the people around us
so if you give yourself no other gift
write yourself a permission flip right now right now
hey friends
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right off track
enjoy this episode
going off track is taking a chance on yourself
following your polls of curiosity
it's making your own decisions
the most wonderful adventure
hey friends
Anya Smith here
I'm so excited for this interview
imagine climbing to the top of the corporate world
only to find it's not what you expected
that's exactly what happened to our guest
she was living the dream
as a marketing boss of Harley Davidson
but guess what
she ditched it all for something even cooler
now she's all about helping folks
find their true purpose and joy in life
she's been on Tedx
coated in Forbes
and even compared to Bernay Brown
and the best part
she's here to share her secret sauce of us
so get comfy
Shelly packs into the show Shelly
so excited to have you here
oh my God Anya
it's so good to be here
thank you for having me you are a
you are a bright light in this world
so I'm looking forward to this
so are you and I'm so excited that we met
we had a brief prep call
and you were just like
dazzled me of your energy and spirit
and I know Harley Davidson is a name that
a lot of people know
but could you give us a little bit of the backstory
that maybe what LED you there and out of there
yeah so in a nutshell
I mean listen
I had such an incredibly
fortunate career in the advertising and marketing world
it's one that took me around the world
I worked on kind of on the advertising side
and then in the digital media world
for incredible brands like McDonald's and pizza
and Intel and back in the day AOL
and then uh
Harley Davidson came knocking
and I ended up going to Harley to help them really
create an integrated global marketing organization
because I had so much experience
working with these other global brands
living and working around the world
creating global marketing organizations
and so I was like oh my god
how do you say no
and it came at a really interesting point in my life
because when Harley came calling
I just gone through a really
really um tumultuous divorce
probably is the best word for it
and so I was really looking
I was kind of in the
on this healing and recovering journey
and I was looking to reinvent myself
and I'm like
well what better way to get my mojo
back and become a total badass again
then go to Harley Davidson
and so that ultimately became
it was the last six and a half years of a 26 year
pretty storied career in marketing
and yeah I mean listen
I feel so honored and privileged
I got to steward a brand that people love so much
that they tattoo it on their freaking bodies
and I got to tell people like
I rode motorcycles around the world for a living
which makes my story even more interesting
because I ultimately
left and I know
we'll get there
yes that's amazing
of course you started at 5
when you were marketing
so you've done it all along
oh and so right right
right thank you
and so yes I can hear the passion
I can hear the positive kind of growth opportunity
that also was opportunity to
to change you know
in a difficult situation and kind of capture
the career change with life is changing as well
so then what was the piddle point
cause it seems that you had it all on paper
everything looks fantastic
and here you are riding motorcycles for a living
what made you think oh
I need something different
yeah and it was
I wish it were that simple
and this is why honestly
this is why I tell my story
and I know I was sharing this with you
and we first connected to
because people are like
who leaves ultimately
I became chief marketing officer
Harley Davidson
so I had a title I always wanted
I worked with a brand that
especially in the marketing space
I mean it's so sexy
and it's legendary
and it's iconic in its own right
and so it's like
who on earth walks away from that job
which is exactly what I did
and it wasn't an overnight thing
and it wasn't um
it certainly wasn't easy
so what ended up happening is
like I said
I spent six and a half years there
but about 5 ish
five and a half years in
from all perspectives
looking outside in
I had it all
like you said I
it was like I had
and I literally had
I take all the boxes
of this traditional success script that I was handed
and it served me very
very well for decades
and then I find myself in this situation
and everybody's like
oh my God so sexy
so cool so amazing
like I hope to be you one day
I wanna be you when I grow up and I
we're starting to wake up feeling
like this emptiness inside
and feeling this pure exhaustion
and wondering like
how can you take all of these things
that everyone tells you
equal success
and feel the way that I was feeling
and so I start getting glimpses of that
and then a nightmare starts hitting me
so literally
the entire final year of my time at Harley
I was woken up in the middle of the night by the same
nightmare on repeat
and what I what I came to realize is that
you know when we're going about our lives and like
we hear that little voice inside
and it's kind of whispering
and then maybe it starts to shout yes
and then it like
is walking at you
and then it just hits you like a 2 by 4
in some way
shape or form
that's what happened to me
and in my case
I mean often times
it's tragedy
it's ill this
it's you know
our body breaks down
we mentally break down
maybe some combination
or many combinations of those things
and in my case
it was this nightmare
that was leaving me could just
on the floor
because I was no longer sleeping
I was completely tortured by what I was seeing
and it was ultimately
that little voice that I was ignoring during the day
that was making sure
I was listening at night and what I
it took me months
and honestly
some professional help
for me to start to peel apart
like what am I seeing
what is going on
and ultimately
I figured out that I was being forced to see
that my soul
I mean we can talk about the nightmare
but I was looking directly at my soul
and my soul was dying
it was lying on the floor in the shape of my pug
my little dog
who had passed away before I even went to Harley
and I'm finding him in a closet
malnourished
and longing for love
and attention
and you know
I mean fuel
food nourishment
and I'm realizing over time
and with the help of a therapist and a doctor
that ultimately
I'm seeing that my soul is dying in a dark closet
that I've never seen before
and I'm realising
that the reason I feel empty
the reason I'm not feeling joy
by you know
from what I'm doing
is because I'm
disconnected with myself
my truth my essence
and that was the big wake up call
in the moment
I realise that
I really like
I could keep going on this way
and I could make a lot of money
and my bank account would be rich
but I would be very
very poor from the inside Charlie
thank you so much for showing that vulnerability
I think it's hard to talk about this
and I think the people who are successful
especially they go through unique
quiet suffering
where it's hard to say hey
I'm not feeling good
would be like well
how how dare you
how dare you complain about all the riches
and glamour and
sexy position that you have
and that can be very
challenging also
when you feel like everything that you are taught to do
you've accomplished right
you you checked all the boxes
people tell you
this is what's gonna get you
to where you wanna be
and I've done that
so like what's happening
so that internal
strife becomes even harder
because societal pressures have been
like you know
guiding you
you've done that
and then you can't really complain
because there's a lot of lack of sympathy probably
or the feeling like there might be lack of
sympathy right
I love that you called that out
because I 100%
the reason it took me so long to even ask for help and
and start to dig into this
is because I was like
I felt guilty
I felt 100% guilty that I could even feel this way
I'm in this
privileged position
I've so much good fortune
I'm in a job
I'd always dreamed of being in
so it's very hard to admit
and I always say
what are you pretending not to know
because admitting
admitting to ourselves is always
that's the start of being honest
and it's hard
yeah very hard
and I love that you're showcasing that
because then it gives people
the opportunity to say hey
maybe I can relate to my
to the story as well
wherever am I
on my professional journey
it's okay to go beyond that guilt
and whatever
and honor the true feeling behind it
no matter where I'm at in the journey
and that's why I think
it's tragic
we see a lot of people who
we think like
they're the
epitome of success
and then something tragic
happens in life
self induced
you know it's like
some kind of meltdown
breakthrough
where is it
they just haven't found
how do you do something differently
something that might tragically happen
so I'm glad that you
took the time to reflect
can you share a little bit
whatever you wanna go into
like what was that reflection
process like what
where did that take you on
after you said hey
this is like
this is happening
this is real
I need to honor
this I mean
to be honest
the the beginning of the reflection process
was I went and found
help so I just
I wanna hit on that point again because
say this in
all of my talks
and if you if you
anything you usually
see from me
I'm like please
remember that
asking for help is a sign of strength
and not a sign of weakness
because I was raised in a family
where it was like
we don't ask for help you know
we're always the life of the party
and we show up strong
and you know
we can do it
we've got this
and then we
cry and crumple
behind closed doors
and so I had to make a decision
that I knew that wasn't gonna serve me
like that life training that
that you know
modeling I got from my own family
from my parents
I was like this is gonna
this isn't gonna serve me
I it will probably
kill me actually
so the beginning
for me was simply
stepping into
the strength to say
I need help
and I'm gonna go find
help and so
between a doctor
and a therapist
I was able to start
understanding
like really
really digging into
what am I seeing in this nightmare
what is this mean
what is the stuff that I've been ignoring
for very long time
what are the narratives
I've been telling
myself about
success and about the
situation I'm in
why do I feel guilty
about all of this
and so that was the beginning
and that introduced me to really
what I understand now
are simple concepts
but I also get that they're really hard
for a lot of us
who are overachievers
and who've had a degree of
I'll call it
traditional
success and
one of those
an example of
one of those things was
starting to slow
down and beach
beach oh man
and I'm not gonna sit here and say
I figured it all out
I'm on the other side
and it's all rainbows
I still have to remind myself to practice
this every single day
and some days
I practice it
and I show up
a little more
little better
and a little more powerfully
myself for myself
than others
and it was a life changing experience
and I'll never forget the
one of the guys that I was working with
at the time
one of the it was
actually a doctor
and he said to me
you know take 10 minutes
and he introduced me to meditation
I didn't know meditation
I wasn't surrounded
by people who were
bringing mindfulness to leadership
that is not the way Harley was
that is not the way the
ad agency world was
and I was like
what is this
what do you mean
like spend 10 minutes
in the morning
I don't have 10 minutes
in the morning
I'm going non stop
from 6:00am
until ten PM
I run a global
organization
I mean listen
we can all fill in the blanks
we've all had our version of this right
and I will never forget
he just looked at me
and he said
if you don't have 10 minutes
you probably need
three hours yes
and I was like
oh wow that hit
and I thought okay
I can start
five or 10 minutes
not gonna kill me
and then as
I say this in my book
as I gave myself
a little bit more time
and a little bit more time
and I started getting quiet
slowing down
and I'm not talking about big blocks of time
I'm talking
starting with five
10 15 minutes
and honestly
that's where it starts
and it doesn't even have to progress
further than that
because what
blew me away
is what started
coming up for me
as I did that more
consistently
and that's when I started to understand
that seeing
Mocha my pug
was a proxy
for seeing my soul
and I started to understand
that I was living
my dad's success
script and yes
it had served me
like I said
and it wasn't serving
me any longer
and it was time to listen
and it was time to understand what well
first of all
understand myself
and listen to what my soul had been trying to tell me
for clearly
for a long time
and understand what
the what is my
success script
what is that look like
what are my values
what are my deepest
desires and so
step by step
and I wanna reiterate this
I say all the time
every badass
accomplishment
is a series of tiny
steps so please
please please
as you're listening to this
as you're watching this
this isn't like
I woke up and changed my whole life
and Anya I know
it was the same for you
you didn't wake up one day
and change your whole life
we take baby steps
it's like take
one tiny step
in the direction
of your truth
in the direction
of what feels aligned
in the direction
of your desires
and pay attention
see what unfolds
see what opens up
and so honestly
it's been seven years
and I can tell you
without hesitation
that that seven years
has been one tiny
step after another listening
paying attention
and really honoring
my own truth
and rewriting
my own script
as I go absolutely
gosh so many
so much to unpack here
I was just taking
notes one thing
we started out
was like this
important to remember that's
it's powerful
to ask for help
and I wanna
clear of that point
because it doesn't take away
the responsibility
from you you know
you have in your own life
asking for help
does not diminish that
but it gives you the space
for more reflection
it gives you a capacity
to look at things
from a different angle
from somebody
who maybe has
experience with that matter
and can kind of
give you some
navigation tools
around that
so I just wanna
yeah to anybody
who has challenges
a I myself was like
oh yeah who
who would do
that you know
but I had a co
worker who said
that she was
experiencing
a challenges
at work and that
this resource
that we had at
met at that time
um counseling
was helpful
he says like oh
just the fact
that somebody
talks about
their experience
can empower
another person
who may be needing
that to explore
that path too
because it makes it
it normalizes that
but I've also Learned
to your point
about slowing down
that we need to
create that space
for reflection
no matter what
you're doing
no matter even
if you're happy
in your career
we are custom
to go go go
like that's the way
to get everything
but you might
be going 100
miles an hour
off the cliff
and not wondering
is that the right
path for me
and that's what
maybe sometimes
help does is
I create space
accountability
then you then
you might be
like you know
I actually like that
I like having the space
of reflection
in my day to day life
to think about
what is best for me
and why am I
doing things
at least I think
that's what
I found in this
shocking for me
like now I'm
you know in
like in my 30s
and I was never
about like slowing down
that was like
whoa and now
I'm like oh
my gosh I want to
take a moment
and just meditate
like that's
crazy for me
but I realize
that's when I
actually and
feeling my best
that's what
I'm thinking about
what is serving me
not serving me
and the more
you get into that
step by step
the more it
becomes like
almost addictive
like oh this is
really where I
empower myself
and I'm not
gonna be my best
by going faster
I'm gonna be
my best if I honor
slowing down
and that's when life
becomes a little
more magical
oh my god amen
sister I I crave
spaciousness now
and I never
would have said that
seven or eight years ago
and you're right
it happened bit by bit
because the more
I allowed myself
I talk a lot about
giving ourselves
permission maybe
we'll get into
I gave myself
a crazy title
when I left
that was another
one of the things
I did because
I wanted to
understand that I had a
responsibility
and obligation
you just use
those words
and I love it
responsibility
and obligation
to create my life
in alignment
with my truth
and values and
desires and
that that is
my responsibility
to listen deeply
and to understand
and then I can
make choices
listen I quit
so you don't have to
is what I often
say to people
I am not telling you
I'm not telling you
to leave your job
what I'm telling you is
we get to create
success in a way
that feels full
and not empty
and as chief
sole officers
of our lives
we get to give our
we we have choices
that we get to make
every single day
and one of them
speaks to exactly what
you just said
we choose pause
over push and
I love this idea
because I feel
especially when
you come out of
the tech world
but we come
out of these
like go go go
hustle like
the corporate
world is still very much
wired that way
and there are a lot of
expectations
and there's a lot of
modeling of
that kind of
hustling grind in
the cultures
that are created
and so for me
I'm like wait
a second like
it we hustle
and grind like
if we don't
choose pause
I I believe
fully and maybe
this is why
I called my
book sylvatical
I called my
journey sylvatical
and I realized
that sylvatical
doesn't mean
leaving your job
it's actually
a way of life
we get to choose
because I believe
and I will go
to my grave
shouting this
from the mountain tops
that taking
time even if
it's 15 minutes
every morning
taking those paws
those pauses
those beats
is what we need
to be creative
to be innovative
to show up as badasses
to show up powerfully
for ourselves
and our teams
and our families
and our communities
and the people
around us so
I just think
this whole idea of
like I don't
have time to
slow down is
total BS so
if you give yourself
no other gift
write yourself
a permission
slip right now
that says I get to
take a beat
yeah I get to
yes absolutely
and I wanna
dive now into
your title how
you came off it
and then your book
like what was
your intention
for all of that
you mentioned
the the title
you mentioned
the book by love
to create specific
what was the
inspiration
for that what
was the process
of creating this
and where's
it become now
yeah so I'll bridge the gap because um
so I did end up leaving Harley
obviously spoiler alert
we already know that
um I left Harley
so but it was
from the time I had the nightmare until the time I left
it was about a year
and so I was starting to do all of that reflection
that we talked about
I was taking those tiny steps forward
and I realized that I wanted to
invest in the potential of my future self
and I didn't know what that meant
I didn't know what that looks like
but I knew that I was
I wanted to allow myself to take a break
outside of the corporate world
and as I got closer to announcing that
both to Harley and to everybody I knew
even when I said things like that
to my inner circle and my family
they all were like
you're nuts
we're worried about you
like legitimately
are you okay
and I and I was like yeah
I I feel in my bone marrow
that this is the right decision
but I'm having a really hard time
explaining it to people
because sometimes we just know we have it
we're trusting our intuition
and we're listening deeply to our soul
we know we know when we know
and yet communicating that to people and other people
understanding it is a whole
it's why we often doubt ourselves
right and so
my little trick for dealing with this was
I knew it was the right thing for me
I didn't know if it was gonna last
I said I'm gonna take a year
I made sure I had a little fund
I made sure I had fed the fund
I had a little cushion of money
I'm not independently wealthy
I knew I couldn't leave for the rest of my life and
fly around and do whatever I wanted
but I knew I had a cushion
and I always could make a decision three months in
six months in
maybe I would go back to the corporate world
but I owed it to myself
into my soul
to do this exploration
and so I will never forget the moment
when I told my family
and then I told Harley
and then I told the rest of the world
and then I was walking out and I was like
okay I know I'm doing the right thing
and I remember the first morning
I didn't go into Harley
I was like oh well
I need to tell the world what I'm doing
so of course
I thought I should go on link did and like
you know okay
close out the chapter of Harley
and then what am I gonna tell people
and I was faced with sheer terror
looking at the Harley you know
so you close out Harley
and then it's like
what do you want to put in
where are you
what new chapter are you starting
I'm like what am I doing
how am I gonna talk about this
and the next morning
it was like this divine download
I woke up and I was like oh
I'm chief sole officer of my life
because I was really title
sensitive at the time
and little did I know
be the most important title I've ever held
but at the time I was like
if I have a title
that says I'm chief sole officer
I will have a
responsibility
and obligation to listen
and to take steps in the direction of what feels
aligned with whatever I learn
and I'm going on my sylvatical
which was a mash up of this
these words
because I thought well
it's not a sylvatical in the most
traditional sense of the word
it's not a vacation
I'm not disappearing
and so I liked this idea
of like a soul sabbatical
like I was taking this time to go deep
and I didn't know where it was gonna lead
and so I you know
I I I'm I'm very creative
I love language
so clearly this was my genius starting to come out
and but really also was me as a marketer going
people need a handle for what I'm doing
which is bullshit
nobody needed a handle
but I needed to be able to say something
so I was probably serving my ego at the time
more than I was serving my soul
but the rest of the journey
really reminded me to think deeply into
reclaiming my identity
better understanding myself
building a relationship with my soul again
which had felt
as we said before
kind of malnourished and neglected
and that journey
which was pretty much like the heroes
journey or the heroines
journey right
it was me facing the truth that
I had no identity
that wasn't completely
enmeshed with my corporate
identity right
all of my worth and my value as a human
I had tied to sexy brands
and big titles
and big paychecks and
global travel
and you know
all of these things
I didn't know who Shelly Paxton was
and I finally asked myself the question like
what if Shelly Paxton is the most iconic
brand I could ever
represent yeah
right who is she
what is she
wanna say to the world
what is she like
strip all the accolades
in the titles
and all that stuff away
like what juiciness is in there
and so that's the work that I started to do
on sylvatical
and I just kept following
those bread crumbs
and ultimately
I'd always wanted to write a book
and that ultimately
LED me to realize
that solvatical
was the book that I was meant to write
I had to take these really bold
brave badass
steps forward
go on this journey
and then oh my god
that was the story I meant to tell the world
so I eventually
wrote a book
where I'm like
putting my arm around you they say
you've gotta write the book that you need to read
yes I wrote
the book that I wish I would have had
when I was at Harley
and I felt so
incredibly alone
going through these questions about wait
is this success
why do I feel like crap
why do I feel empty
what does successful
really feel like
and where is that
and who's doing that
who's being that
and so I ultimately
wrote that book
so I could put my arm around
other people who are feeling
that same way and
help them figure it out for themselves
because like I said
my path your path
everybody's path
they're gonna look very
very different
you get to figure it out
but I wanted to share
how I started to
navigate this
and what were the questions
I was asking
what were the tools
I was using
what's the journey I went on
as a way to
inspire you
and Renee Brown has an amazing quote that I
I don't remember
word for word
but she essentially says
we tell our story
like we tell our stories
because they're meant to become somebody else's
survival guide
and that's 100% how I
I think about my book
it's someone else's
survival guide
it's a memoir
a manifesto
and a guide
absolutely I think
so many things
have hit hit me
one thing about that
I think it's important
when things are challenging
to have hope
and at times
the hope can be hard to see
within ourselves
but seeing other people
who have gone through a similar journey
and share the wisdom
gives us the hope that we can also do it
yeah and so
I honor the journey that you took
because while we talk about it
and you're smiling
it's incredibly
difficult to go through
every step of that to say
to to give up
something yes
yeah totally
yes absolutely
but you've given people hope
who are in similar situations
to say like
I can do something different
and find my soul
and feel different
especially if they're in a place where
maybe they have it all
but their soul
does not feel aligned
to their external
circumstances
right so they have a different option
so now let's dive into the book
the beautiful book
is behind you
if you're on the YouTube
check out the cover
thank you so
what are maybe some gems
lessons things
you wanna share with our listeners
who maybe have not checked out the book yet
yeah so I just gave you a sense for what the book is
it is a wild ride
because it is part memoir
and so I do tell a lot of my story
it is very candid
very vulnerable
and I write
like I speak
so if you want
like a soul sister
I don't care what gender you are like it
but if you want a soul sister who's like
I'm putting my arm around you
and let's have some real talk
it's real talk
it's not bullshit
it's not meant to
it's not academic
it's my journey
what I Learned
shared very candidly
and at the end of each section
we pause and I share some of the same questions
that I was asking myself
so if you really wanna
dig into this
and you're serious about going on this journey
you get to pause
and have reflection
of your own
and I'm hoping that
by asking yourself
some of the same questions
I was asking
or doing some of the same exercises
I was doing
um there's one of my favorites
in there is Soul
Fuels versus
Soul Sucks so
really digging into
what lights you up
what is draining you
where are the shoulds right
shedding the shackles of should is
one of the things
I talk about right
because so often
we are like
the narratives
of what can
keeps us going
is dominated
by the things
we think we should
be doing and so
we get to start to pull those
apart right
so that's what it is
you get you go on this journey of
you know hearing
hearing my story
but then really
starting to dig into your own
when we were talking
about earlier
about you know
asking for help
I think sometimes
all we need is a mirror
so if I can be a mirror
that helps to reflect
maybe some of the things
that you're
experiencing
so you can ask yourself
some of these questions
that's a really
powerful start
and that's really what
this book is meant to you know
is meant to do
and honestly
what this is about
at its core
and this is
what I talk a lot about now
is the idea that
success is a feeling
it's not a checklist
and when we approach
success is a checklist
which is external
and it's all the things
outside of ourselves
that often leads to that
feeling of empty
like why done
all the things
why don't I feel lit up
why don't I feel joy
or fulfillment
or whatever it is
we think about
successes of
feeling like
how do I wanna feel
it often is
more aligned with our values
more aligned with
how we wanna show up
in the world
more aligned with the
impact we wanna have
in our lives
our businesses
and maybe the world
that large and so
it's starting to
shift to that idea
that we get to
define success
in a way that
celebrates our humanity
our well being
and our soul
instead of success
that's celebrating
hustle and grind
and burnout
and mental you know
mental health crises
and all the things that we see happening
in the world
and in particular
in the States today
yeah absolutely
and one thing
I think people
might fear is that
if they focus on
feeling the
success right now
that they lose their edge
right and so
what I mean by
that is like
that well yes
I like how this sounds
but how do I trust
that if I give up this chase
that I can sustain
myself like
how can I trust that
feeling good
like feeling successful
can actually
keep me alive
you know means
like sustainable
financially
in this real world
where everybody else is
grinding um
what advice
would you give people
who are maybe
in that mental state
yeah I mean
I think this is interesting to me and I
I can relate to this question
I can relate to this challenge
I've been there over and over again
and I think
really we also
this is being honest with ourselves right
so what are you pretending not to know in that scenario
because I would say
how well is the current way you're approaching
success serving you
because I have
all have clients and other people in my world say that
and then in the same breath
they tell me they're exhausted
they're burned out
they are not showing up as powerfully
as they'd like to be showing up as a leader
as a human because of that
so I ask you to take really honest inventory
of how powerfully are you showing up under the current
circumstances
how much of an edge do you really have when you feel
entirely depleted
and how much
like how much is this serving you
feeling more joy
joyful more fulfilled
more loved more of whatever you want
because often were fighting
so hard for the thing we don't really want at all
right right
so I say start with a dose of honesty
that it has
it is the hardest thing to sit down and say and admit
like oh my God
maybe this isn't it or maybe
maybe it is
but I wanna go about it in a way
so here's a great example
I've worked with people who say
I'm not coming to you because
I wanna leave the corporate world
this my journey
I already know is different than your journey
but I want to explore like
what is going to make me feel more alive more full
more aligned
more badass in the way that I'm showing up in the world
and very often
it's that the role they're in
or maybe the company that they're in
is not deeply aligned with who they are as a human
and what they want to feel
or the impact that they wanna have
and so we start to really dig into what is that
and who are you
and what really matters the most to you
and what are your non negotiables
maybe you don't wanna live in that big city with that
excruciating
right you know
mortgage or rent check every single month
maybe you know
you understand where I'm going right
digging into all of those things to say
what shifts can I start to make
so that I feel more alive and energized and full
at the end of every day
and only you know how that's gonna look
but I would argue
based on my own experience
and having seen this again and again
you're actually gonna have more edge
than you've ever had in your entire career
maybe your entire life
because the way you're showing up
and the energy that everybody around you feels
is going to be
markedly different 100%
and I love the beauty of all of that
so I think one thing is that I was like whistles
every soul is unique right
so when we talking about your path
it could be incorporated
could be outside of it
it doesn't really matter
it's what matters is that you reflect on yourself
and what are your current needs
and I'm on that journey right now to be transparent
like I still feel like it's still early on
hasn't been a year
and their times were like
okay why am I doing this
haha right honestly candidly
but then at the same time
I'm trusting that by taking the reflection space
by growing myself
amazing things will happen
and they're happening in small stripes
like I'm seeing a little bit of movement
here and here and here
and I would have never done this
this life would be completely impossible
if I didn't go on this journey
like I applied to do a Tedx talk recently
um and just like
nominated the podcast for an award in DUI for podcast
like I would have known a couple months ago
that I could even do something like that
and like now I'm communicating people around the world
so it's funny how success
what I took it to be before
has changed right
but how I feel is different
and I know I'm probably in that more of the state
like where I don't necessarily feel like it's all done
like it doesn't feel safe
you know cause like
I'm not like
oh now I have millions in the bank
and now it feels like it's so easy just like
but I wanna share that vulnerability
because a lot of times we don't share that
we share when things are kind of
defined and comfortable
like oh well
actually I was having this hard time
but for anybody listening
I'm in that point where
it is not always easy to trust
that everything is gonna turn out okay
but that said
I do feel more peace than I've ever had
I feel more
peaceful about who I am
and that I'm showing up better
and that my life is a lot fuller
than what I did with her
secure job secure job
making the money
and everything on paper was good
so if anybody's in that vulnerable position
like I just
wanna empower you to follow this journey
even if it feels vulnerable
because in your own gut
you sense that little bit
like that feels right
and I'm honoring that for my journey
oh yes and thank you for sharing that
I think it's so powerful to hear it from those
of us who are in it and listen
seven years on
I'm still in it
I'm in it further along
but I'm in it every day
I'm making the choice to show up in my truth
and some days are easier than others
but let's be really honest
I want all of us to have a moment of
excruciating honesty
nothing is ever guaranteed
it doesn't matter if you're on your own
or in a corporate role or
doing whatever
nothing is guaranteed right
and that's the thing
like there's
there's a um
uh a woman who uh
her name is Bronny Ware
she is a paleotive care
nurse in Australia
and she sat with
hundreds of people on their deathbeds
and she asked them all
a series of questions to understand
what were their top regrets
and then she published a book called The Top
Regrets of the dying
and the No. 1
regret that she heard from
all of these people she talked to is
I regret not living
a life true to myself
but instead
living the life others
expected of me
and listen I
I think we do it because we have the narrative of what
success looks like
or we have the fear
that if I let go of
this thing that feels so secure
I'm not gonna be able to make it
or feed my family
or feed myself
or whatever
the case may be and again
I'm not saying
you have to just
you know leap in
the net will appear
I that's a very to me
I don't know that I even believe in that
I am saying
you can take tiny steps
toward creating a life
that feels more align
that feels more fulfilling
and that might
progressively
get more dramatic
it might get bigger
you may end up out on your own
doing your own thing
you also may not
but there is a way to shift
even creating boundaries
energetic boundaries
taking pauses
for yourself
that could be
what we're talking about earlier
can be a small as
I'm gonna take breaks in my day
everyday to
walk in nature
breathe deeply
maybe it's meditate
maybe it's play
how often do we play
you know and then say
maybe it's a long weekend
every month
maybe it's time off
every quarter
but let's start to put these things in place
so we can build this
relationship
and do more of what fuels us
and get more
aligned in what we're creating
because that's where the fullness comes from
and you get to decide what that is for you
we're all in it it is
here's the other thing
it is a journey
not a destination
and I know people
shout that quote
all the time
success is the same way
there isn't a place to get to
there isn't
like some big
like oh my God
I finally made it
this is what we all learn right
yeah like the
bright neon
signs blinking
you are here
that's total bullshit
it's not the case
it is a journey
and we get to check in
along the way
and ask ourselves like
how does this feel
does it feel aligned
maybe I need a course
correct a little bit
but truly is a forever journey
and the more we start to think about it that way
I think the more
empowered we become
to create a life
that really lights
us up right
and the more fun
the journey it is
if we actually listen to ourselves
yes the journey
we become a um active
we have agency
on the journey
we're not just like
on the train that has
we don't know where it's going
we just sat in there
and we're like
stuck no like
we get to get off
and she was like
where do we wanna go
every step of the way
if we're more
tuned to ourselves
and I also I'm curious
here you are
a huge leader
in these amazing companies
and then you're going on the soul journey
and you've done things
doing the topic
where soul meets success
can can you check
how have leaders
responded like
have there been leaders like
who responded to you searching
and kind of
going in this
quest for the soul badacle um
how have they
responded to you
going out and doing this
yeah it's been really fun because sobatical is a very
people love the word the term
but it's also really polarizing
because if you don't understand the context
that it's truly a way of being um
I think I scare a lot of people who are like oh my God
she's the person who tells everybody to leave their job
and it's like
no no no no
no time out
that's the exact opposite of what I'm doing
but I also understand that it you know
at first glance
that is literally like judging a book by its cover
right like that is literally what the word sounds like
and so as I have ramped up my keynote speaking
I was like what am I really talking about
and that's when it hit me
the goal for me was that I was
I'm helping people
find this intersection in their own life
where soul meet success
and we get to stand at that intersection
and we get to make bold
brave and badass decisions for ourselves
from that intersection
and I think soul and success for a long time I mean
let's be honest
soul isn't even really a word we were talking about
you know in the leadership space
in the corporate space
so that alone felt really scary
for me to start to bring it in
but I thought
that's my truth
that's what I was put here to do
and then I started to think wow
well what if more people had permission to say
soul and success aren't on like
they aren't diametrically opposed
they're actually
they are powerful when combined
and when one informs the other
and that's when you feel more
energized and more fulfilled
and all the things that you and I've been talking about
and so I I literally have had people cry
I've had people hug me for minutes at a time and say
thank you I have had people
um you know
completely rethink
the way they're showing up for themselves
for their teams
the influence they wanna have on the culture
in their organization
so I feel like
my takeaway so far
and I've only been out in the world with this keynote
like really boldly for the last six to eight months
so it still feels thank you
it still feels very new
but I feel like I'm writing
every leader in the world a permission slip
and I talk about permission slips in my work
I'm like as chief sole officers yes
we can choose
we get to choose pause over push
we also get to choose
permission over pleasing
and we get to write ourselves permission slips
and I feel like
by doing this and sharing my story and in
and saying all of this
I'm also handing every leader
permission slip to do this on their own terms and to
decide what they need in their lives
to show up most powerfully
so you know
even if it's as simple as boundaries
like decide what's okay and what's not okay
when are you not available
as an example
for communication
with your team and with your boss
because you wanna be with your family
or with your community or with yourself
you know that might be one really tiny step forward
is to write a permission
slip around some of those boundaries
that are missing or maybe have eroded over time
so I get a lot of energy
from knowing that I'm handing that permission slip
and I'm inspiring people to really
think about
success differently
and then we get to collectively
have these ripples of impact
cause we not only change our own lives
when we start thinking about success this way
when we model this way
and we show up this way
we have ripples of impact that go far beyond ourselves
and that's when I get really excited
about what's happening
I love I just like
I could just listen to you all day
and what I think about that
just to wrap that up
is that we have something like
who am I to go for a life where I can you know
live out my true purpose
you know enrich my soul
and I've Learned to question that inner voice
whatever solved out is be like
who am I not to do that
because really
it's not like the world is full of like over
it's not like we have an
excessive amount of happiness in the world
it's not we have the opposite problem
and so you showing up fully
giving yourself permission to be your bold self
empowers yourself to make the world better
and it gives other people the mission to do so
so do so boldly and confidently
don't doubt it
you were absolutely worthy just because of nature
being human
and you're trying to make the world a little better
that's all it takes
what what yes
preach sister
100% yes okay
so I I do unfortunately have to wrap this up
although I wish we can go for a couple more hours
but here right off track
we wrap up of three rapid fire questions
so let me know when you're ready
I'm ready girl
oh no okay let's go for it
what's one piece of advice for someone feeling success
empty right now
oh I would say get clear on your values
I find that we are not schooled in this
get clear on your values
the best place to go and Anya
I'll send you a link
if you wanna put it in your show notes
Renee Brown has a PDF of a list of 100 values
when you get to understand
very clearly what your top three values are
everything starts to shift
so start there
beautiful okay
I'll definitely link that in the resources
check out the links description okay
what is one goal or one aspiration for 2,024
that you're excited about
hmm I want to stand on more stages
because my success currency and I talk a lot about
we get to decide what is our success currency
mine is that it's not money
although money comes when I'm standing in my power
for me it's impact
and standing on stages
is a great way to share my energy and have an you know
increasingly bigger impact
and so standing on
you know 10 to 15 really juicy aligned stages
lighting thousands of souls on fire
yes that uh
that sounds amazing
so if you're listening to Shelly
like oh my gosh
I would love to hear her reach out
like especially if you're a corporate company
reach out to people who are doing trainings
presentations
speaking opportunities to recommend Shelly
and I'm sure she'd be delighted to
come and join and share her votical inspiration
if you too okay
last but not least
of course of course
last but not least in the positive sense
going off track is
ah
it's it's it in a positive sense it's a soul adventure
it's a soul adventure
it's a choose your own adventure that only you can do
and I think going off track
opens our hearts and minds and souls to what's possible
oh that's so beautiful Shelly
I so appreciate you joining us and to all of us
thank you so much for investing in yourself
and from Shelly
you are all getting a hall pass to be a soul badass
and find out what that means for you today
but thank you again
and as always
let's take over the world together right off track
and Shelly thank you so much for your time thank you
it's your host
and let's welcome the amazing