How Autism Can Teach Us to Overcome Underestimation, Define Success, and Turn Life's Lemons into Lemonade - Debra Wallace is RightOffTrack

found that the more I became an autism mom
special needs parent advocate
the more I saw gaps and holes
and
the problem with somebody having a learning disability
or any kind of challenge is that um
they're underestimate and I know for my own son
the more you tell him and me that we can't do something
the more lights a fire in our belly and we want to do
so my life over the past 16
17 years since he got his diagnosis is to spread um
the message of acceptance and inclusion
it's very easy to say no it's over
he said no we parted ways
no harm no foul
the minute you say yes as a teacher
therapist and entrepreneur
now
you have to actually go to work and do what you said
you were gonna say yes
right I feel like it's my job
and other parents of typical kids
and kids with special needs
need to always be that fierce mama lion
hey friends I'm your host
Anya Smith
Today we're tapping the essentials of advocacy
entrepreneurship which is storytelling
branding and media engagement
will unpack how these powerful tools can drive change
and foster inclusion
especially for those of autism and special needs
if insights from major outlets like parade.com
Next avenue.org Suburban Life Magazine
Emerson and Yahoo live our discussion is set to inspire
please welcome our guest Debra Wallace
an award winning journalist
celebrated for impactful advocacy and work
Debra so grateful to have you here
thank you it's my pleasure
and for audience to be this information
can you tell us about
what got you started in this piece
and where is your passion right now doing this work
I went to journalism school
I always wanted to be a writer
uh
something that I knew from the tender age of 8 or nine
uh and um
I wanted to be a writer um
not just to get my name published
but to make a difference in the world
uh so I've written about domestic abuse
and I've written about um
child advocacy and I've written about um
seniors and and all the kind of forgotten quote unquote
throwaway groups
and really try to raise a lot of money
uh for various health problems
and um
as the mom of an 18 year old son with autism
um it's really become my passion
to use my gifts and talents
as a writer and a content provider
uh I rewrite websites
uh I write for a lot of local
national in it and uh regional magazines and
and I also do publicity for entrepreneurs and authors
and people who are getting their feet wet
and people who have been doing this for 20 years
like I have
and I found that the more I became an autism mom
a special needs parent advocate
the more I saw gaps and holes and um
and
the problem with somebody having a learning disability
or any kind of challenge is that um
they're underestimated
and I know for my own son
the more you tell him and me that we can't do something
the more lights a fire in our belly
and we want to do it so my life over the past
you know 16
17 years since he got his diagnosis is to spread um
the message of acceptance and inclusion
and also raise a lot of money
find different programs it's very easy to say no
it's over you said no
we parted ways no harm
no foul the minute you say yes
as a teacher a therapist and entrepreneur
now
you have to actually go to work and do what you said
you were gonna say yes
right I feel like it's my job
and other parents of typical kids
and kids with special needs
need to always be that fierce mama lion
that's gonna go that extra mile
and say to the school district
uh the principal
anybody in our child's lives
why not you've always done it this way
he can't go on the class trip because there isn't blah
blah blah
let's find those tools let's find those things we need
and get him or her on the class trip
and get them as integrated as possible
love love so much of that
and the theme of being underestimate
I think it's so broad right
and obviously people have different variants to that
feeling that way
but I can see how much it relates to entrepreneurship
where there's so much anxiety
telling you what you should be doing
how you should work how you should make money
and when you start to say
you know what
I feel this pulled for something different
a lot of people like why would you do that differently
how can you do that like
who are you to do things
like challenge the conventional path
so I'm curious with all the experience
what advice would you give to somebody
who is an opposite in that position
of feeling that they're underestimated
or maybe people who um
or in the positions of power
and how maybe can they rethink their limited view on
like underestimated people
so from both of those angles
what advice would you have
we have to be mentors to people who are coming along
and we have to allow ourselves to be mentored
and so it definitely takes a village to raise a child
um with special needs
and you have to surround yourself with the people
who are going to help you make whatever
this possible uh yes
restaurants fail startups fail
you know and people will get you scared
they'll tell you 10 reasons why you should not pursue
whatever it is that you want to
but if you really uh
and you may fail you have to be willing to fail
but um
once you say this is my passion
this is what I wanna do uh
you know definitely have a good business plan
you know if
if math isn't your thing then get an accountant
like get the people behind you
that know how to do media relations
that know how to do social media
that know how to do editing or whatever you need but um
once you decide this is my path
this is my business plan this is my goal um
find people who support it
and
I'm not telling you to not speak to your sister in law
or or your neighbor
but don't keep those people as your close knit
you know you wanna have people who celebrate you
who celebrate the dream uh
you know whether that's a child or a business or a book
whatever it is
it's much easier to just dismiss the whole thing
and say you know
do you know the possibility of
you know
of your restaurant making it past six months or a year
okay but
but what about me I have strength
I have background I have people in my corner
so let's be supportive of one another and see
I never give up you know
you'd have to tell me no 300
600,000 times um
I was told that
having a bar mitzvah for my special needs son
in 2,019 was a pipe dream
that he wasn't gonna be able to do the prayers
he wasn't gonna be able to have the focus
he wasn't gonna be able to
spend an hour and a half
to two hours in front of a congregation
people were scared for him
people were thought I was crazy
and I made it work
and he was wonderful and he was a Jewish rock star
and um
the the teachers and the family
and the friends and the therapists in the congregation
applauded at the end and people said
is that typical
for somebody to applaud at a synagogue service
and I said only when appropriate
and we were just so proud of him and
and I said to him you said a note new bar
so as you're going through this
set littler goals and littler steps
so you wanna write that book in a year
year and a half so
say you want three chapters
in the first three or four months
like give yourself little chunky goals to
to master and then move on to the next one
so um yeah
he was amazing and
you know it was
whatever we created it didn't have to be
everybody wants us
and our children with special needs to fit into boxes
and this is the way school goes
and this is the way work goes
and this is the way um
play dates go whatever
and our children don't fit in these boxes
and I feel like you know
stop making people fit in boxes
that's where the creativity
that's where the imagination
that's where the childlike vision comes in
just let them be
let them thrive and my goal for Adam is that um
my son is that he is the best version
the best Adam that he can be
I don't need him to
to do anything for someone else or someone else's um
vision of what he could do or or can't do or whatever
um so I'm very encouraging
a very supportive and um
I think with a lot of love and a lot of passion
we all have gifts we all have talents
we all have things we're great at
we all have things that we're not great at
and I just feel like
allow yourself to feel self confident
to feel self worth
to know that you have something to offer
and just go for it um
my definition of success is different
than a lot of people
I interview a lot of successful entrepreneurs
celebrities people um movie people and business people
people Fortune 500 companies and I say
I ask them what is your definition of success
and I've come up with one that fits for me and him
giving it your best
study hard for the test
give it 110% study a little bit more on the bus
do everything you can and then get a grade a
B C
D it doesn't matter you gave it your all you succeeded
I keep saying this to my son
over and over and over again
you success is not getting the results you want
success is giving it all your heart and all your soul
and all your love
and then stepping back and taking a deep breath
you did what you could
that's so beautiful and just kudos to Adam
he sounds amazing I know he's amazing
and he's he's shining to his himself
and I love that he has you
as an example of just not being underestimated
but more importantly not to prove to others
but to like
live this definition of success that you internalize
and you showing up and having
giving him the same you know
environment like hey
this is what success is
and this is how you shouldn't underestimate yourself
either
so beautiful and it reminds me this theme of control
and I and I grappled with it for a while
where there's something I want to be in control
but there's also a realization
that you can't control everything right
and and so
people who try to control everything
become unhappy and suffering
because they again they
it's a losing battle
but where I come to this medium point of
you can control the effort you put into something
and you have to find peace or Grace
or whatever you wanna call it
around accepting the things around you
really happening like you get
you are in control of how you react to things
but you can't control everything that's external
so like finding that balance
and to your point the definition of success
you create
for yourself is gonna create that ability for you to
like define
like how how you wanna show up
as your definition of being in control
so very recently
I had a birthday the day after Valentine's Day
and I woke up to a sewer leak in my basement
terrible birthday and I used it as a teaching moment
I said I am upset you know
this is a mess
I have to make a lot of plans to get it cleaned up
spend a lot of money deal with the insurance company
but I'm still gonna have a birthday
I'm still gonna celebrate
I'm still gonna have a party
and how I choose to go through that day
or that weekend is up to me
the thing already happened
I can't get rid of the problem but so you know
when it was time to go out to dinner with some friends
and my son that we had already planned
there was a part of me that said why bother
you know
let me just get into bed and watch a hallmark movie
with a cup of tea and a magazine
and just pretend today didn't happen
and I couldn't do that I couldn't do that to him
I couldn't do that you know
it was a nice dinner was I upset
yes but I compartmentalized it
and I tried not to think about it
and I 90% of the dinner was totally enjoyable
so it's the choices that we make once
you know things happen
I somebody made a toast at Adam's Barman Spa
and it's been my um catchphrase
life has given me lemons
bushel falls of lemons
my beloved husband of 22 years passed away
12 years ago tomorrow in March at the tender age of 57
he was our guy he was amazing dad
my son was 6 and people said
how did you get out of bed after the funeral
after people went home after things got calm
I said well
first of all I was now a single mom in charge of a home
in charge of a six year old
never really lived alone
I always had roommates and you know
went from my parents house to college to
you know to getting married later in life
and um
I didn't feel like I had a choice
you know one doctor said would you like some um
something to help you sleep sleeping
and I said with a 6 year old in the next room
like that's a really bad idea
unless I'm gonna get living help
like that's not gonna work
he needs to be able to have a
if he has a nightmare in the middle of the night
or he needs a glass of water
I have to be alert so I took those lemons
I mean and they could have filled this kitchen
and I made the sweetest lemonade
you know in terms of work
in terms of the home
in terms of getting those people around us
you know there were people who kind of went away
you know
I don't know if they thought losing a spouse was catchy
or or whatever
they just didn't wanna deal with us
you know we had autism
we had a death in the family
we had a lot on our plate and the people who said
we wanna be here for you and um
and really stepped up I
my big advice
if somebody's having a problem in their life
a death a tragedy
something's bad happening
don't say let me know if I can help you
let me know what I can do for you
just be there and
and invite that person out for coffee or a lunch or
you know we're not talking about a 300 dollar meal here
we're just talking about being there for them
listening and those people who were there 12 years ago
are still in my life
because they cared enough about me back then
they still care about me
some of them have children with autism
and special needs and I've tried to help them advocate
advocate and tried to you know
there's a whole learning curve
once you find out your child has special needs
I don't care if it's autism
down syndrome uh
physical disability whatever and
and people kind of keep all these things hidden
and one um
people call me out of the blue all the time
my child
or my grandchild or my neighbor was just diagnosed
and we're gonna wait
we're gonna wait for the speech speech therapy
we're gonna wait for the occupational therapy
and the behavioral therapy and all this other stuff
and you don't wanna wait
waiting is is the worst thing you can do
you wanna just get in there with your feet first and uh
and start helping the child as early as you can
what I took away from that is that
when things are challenging
it wouldn't the things are easy
it's easy to be around people right
you can you can have superficial relationships
and then when things get challenging
it's harder to look at the challenge right
you have to
you have to make a choice at whether you're gonna
lean in and really be there
or if it's too hard and you step away
and I think those are also defining moments
like when we choose to do something challenging
whether it's you know again
decide a new path or take on like the you
you're presenting causes dear to your heart right
some people may find it easier to look away it's like
well this is outside my comfort zone
I don't wanna have this conversation
I'm easy being in the box
and that's comfortable for me
and I'm curious
as a somebody who is a champion about of cause that's
you know again
could be uncomfortable talk about
what advice would you give
to people like entrepreneurs
who want to talk about meaningful causes to them
like what strategies have you found
that are effective in helping people who again
maybe looking in maybe are in the comfort boxes
but still get them involved
in something that's meaningful to the person
one of my um
most successful avenues as a publicist
is to go to a client who has a book
or product or brand or business
and say what is important to you
what has touched your family or your community
you know heart disease
alzheimer's diabetes
um it could be anything
and once they say well
this happened to my mother
my mother in law or somebody that
that I care about
embracing that and as big away as you can
so you know
having an event at your place
if there is a place of business like
um we had a bagel fundraiser
and we raised quite a bit of money for the local
autism group which was down the street
now this particular business owner
didn't have anybody with autism in his life
he had healthy kids and he was happy
um but he
but it's a very important um
part of our community
and so I suggested the autism fundraiser
he certainly could have picked something else
so find something that's touched your heart
something that's happened to you
or someone in your life and just get involved
you know whether you raise $10 or $10 million
it's a start
and you will find a network of like minded people
who are interested in the fund raising
and the awareness
because it's not just about the money
it's getting the message out
and they will be interested in turn and
and maybe helping you grow your business
so it's a great match
you're doing good for the community
you're also helping your own business and you're um
whenever I interview somebody for any publication
big or small
I ask what gets you excited
about getting out of bed in the morning
what do you look forward to
and they don't usually say making lot of money uh
you know getting a better house
getting a you know
fancy car they say
you know being the best mom or grandma
or community member involves in the school
like making a difference
making a difference in my community through my business
through my passions and um
once that connect is there and there's a reason um
I it
it sort of goes back to public speaking
I'm I'm revamping um
with this podcast and and my own future podcast
um my motivational speaking
and what I want people to understand is if it's
if it's in your heart and it's important to you
than other people will want to go along for the ride
and they'll be happy to go along for the ride
and it'll be successful so
when I interview everybody from Henry Winkler
and John Travolta and Brooke
Shields and Margaret Atwood and
you know
Jane Goodall and Temple Grande
like really major movers and shakers
the one thing that most of them wanna know about is ad
and why autism awareness is so important to me
and what the holes are in our community
and in our nation and in our world
so um
so I write a lot about autism
and I also write a lot about not being underestimated
no no matter who you are
you know whether you're a young woman
who can't go to community college
because you have young children to take care of and and
you know and there's no man in the picture or um
you know you're homeless person or
or anything you know
what can we do as a community
as a society to help you get where you need to go
and to use whatever gifts and talents for our business
um for whatever our platform is to give back
because that's what gives me the most joy
is seeing the difference so when I have a yard sale
I don't just set up a bunch of tables
and sell a bunch of stuff
and make a couple dollars
we set up a snack table that my son is in charge of
and I buy juice
and I buy lemonade and cookies and crackers and
and water and some people don't buy anything from me
and they don't want the crackers in the juice
but they just want to donate
and so to me that's a successful yard sale
whether I make $20 or $600
because I raised whatever it is for autism
and an Adam
can go and donate that money to the local Autism Cares
Foundation and
and see that they can have a Lego class
or sensory friendly movie
or some kind of outing because his
you know contribution helped
and I don't think that contribution can be too small
I I really don't
if we care and we're involved
then we keep talking about it
we keep getting people involved
um then
then we've made an impact
and that's that's the point
so to me is the point
so many killers I love
I love this interview
because there are so many parallels I see
and what reminds me is that often
as people don't make an impact
or don't even start because they feel like oh
well it has to be this grand vision right
this pull of brolysis of in action
because we set our sides like we
we put our worth into the outcome versus saying
there is value in what I'm doing in the mission
and like the every step is valuable
and I appreciate every step in what I'm doing
in itself is important
and you mentioned that a lot of people reach out to you
and you've interviewed some incredible people
and it keeps me going back to the theme of authenticity
and how I'm sure there
are people who used to read the message like okay
this is powerful because it's authentic
I sense your energy I sense your drive
and I'm sure there are times be like
this is landing kind of flat
like I'm not sure if this is gonna have an impact
so what advice would you have for entrepreneurs
or people listening to us
who want to show up powerfully
make impact and potentially be
I mean how does it
how does authenticity tie into them being impactful
when working
if you are just trying to grow their media presence
I think they have to be realistic
you you have to know what your goals are you know
when I'm looking for a public relations client
and they say I wanna be a Good Morning America
and I wanna be interviewed by Oprah Winfrey
and I want to sell 5 million copies of my book
and I need to make this amount of money
and I was like that's all lovely
that's big
if your name is not James Patterson or Taylor Swift
or whatever
you're probably not gonna do all that in the beginning
at least so we have to set our sights on
you know some local publicity some local uh
opportunities and just um
give yourself Grace you know
there's gonna be a day where you're gonna
go to a chamber meeting
or try to attract an investor and um
and you know
your toilet backed up or you know something
bad happened or your kid you know
came home from school in tears and you're one person
you can't really compartmentalize all the bad things
or all the difficult things that are going in on
in your life you know it's kind of like
make sure that you don't overlook the snow days
so a snow day for us means no school
we have to shovel we have to tone it down
we not gonna get all the work done
and we could complain about that
or we could just go outside and have a snowball fight
maybe build a snowman and shovel and just say to
you know whoever you know
my my um my laptop's not gonna work today uh
let's postpone our meeting till tomorrow
we just had a snow day and send them a lovely picture
you know uh
that looks like a hallmark postcard
like just be able to adapt to what's going on
and people will not see it as weakness if you say
you know
there's a lot of stuff that's happening in my life and
um I've had people say there was family emergency or
you know if the school calls
I will finish what I'm doing
but I'm not gonna start the next thing
even if it's just to say hi
because when the school calls
I'm a mom I have to be on duty you know
moms really don't get much of a break
so give yourself Grace be excited
be authentic
and then admit that there's gonna be tough days and
you know um
it doesn't mean that you failed
because you gave it your heart
and people will see that I'm sorry um
I really believe with the right mindset
and the right people and the right um
attitude
it's it's so much easier to say
I can't be a journalist anymore
digital took away most of the print
and the money isn't as good as it used to be
and when that day came
or I was kind of reevaluating who I was writing for
and magazines were closing
I wrote for Family Circle
they're gone I wrote for Red Book
they're gone I wrote for Ladies Home Journal
they're gone but there's still a lot out there
and most of it is digital
and I had to learn how a different way of writing
you know with subheads and shorter um
materials and stuff like that
so don't say I only know how to do this
this this
my mother Learned how to you know
work a computer very successfully
you know in her 60s and 70s and used one
you know until um
she passed it you know
age 89 so
you know find out what you don't know
find people that help you um
navigate and um and be willing to to change um
because public relations came about
because people came to me and said
we enjoy your writing you write with heart
we love your stories
would you be willing to write copy for us
for our websites and for these different campaigns
that is more public relations oriented than just
you know organically grown
so to speak and after Covid
most of the publications I wrote for were on a hiatus
they thought they were gonna close down for six weeks
some of them were gone for six months
to a year and a half and um
you know
necessities the mother of invention
you know you have to make a living
you have writing skills so
look at your skills as a business owner
or whatever it is your passion is
and say well
I tried this and it didn't quite work the way I wanted
but I have all these other skills
what how can I package them
how can I offer them
and how can I work with other people
and maybe make a team so social media is
is uh
your best friend or your neighbors Forte
and somebody else has a bakery and somebody else
get together and see how you can all work together
to make your businesses successful
you can't do it alone nobody can do it alone ah
you know as a single mom
you know that was the biggest thing
I knew I needed help and um
my husband had a great theory
if somebody came to our house to work with our son
or do anything he would give them three
to six weeks if they weren't getting the results
that we were looking for we we didn't blame them
we didn't condemn them
we didn't give them a bad Yelp review
we just said
we're gonna try something else and and it worked
so if you're not getting the results that you want
from whatever you're doing
try something else and
and don't put all your eggs in one basket
for crying out loud because you know
what if that person leaves the business or you know
that company that servicing you and helping you do XYZ
just doesn't want to do it anymore
for whatever reason
you've got to have other backups and so have a plan
take a deep breath
try a lot of different things and
and learn to zig and zag
and when those lemons come your way
just get the sugar and make sweet
sweet sweet lemonade
because if you're gonna be bitter about it
it's just not gonna work ugh
I am loving so much there
so much again in here about building community
and also pivoting and being graceful to yourself
wherever you're at as a mom with three little boys
well somewhat little 1
4 and 11 now so not little I it's easy to say okay
I can't do this I can't be an entrepreneur
I can't cause I have to be you know doing X
y Z
and I also found that being entrepreneur
actually is making me part of
a community people really understand the challenges
like no community quite like this have I found
where when you tell people like
I am just doing overload
I can't function like I get you
I've been there yesterday
so haha get back to me when you're feeling better
and to your point like when you
when you open up to people in authentic way
and you find yourself from people
who are also authentic about their challenges
it becomes somewhat easier just like hey
I'm open to pivoting because I see this is normal
like this
this Assumption that everybody has everything together
and everybody's on the straight path
and it's working for them is a mirage
I think a lot of times
most times people who figuring out who are
you know saying are giving this a loss of Grace
they're owning where they're at
defining connections that allow them to be genuine
where they at and also again
they're taking things and stride
so when is the day where you feel energizing good cool
but when things are not going well that okay
well this is a day for me to be a little slower
I'm gonna beat
attune to this environment and adjust accordingly so
so much there um
sorry I was gonna say
one thing that you spoke about is like
this example where somebody comes to like
I want to do everything
I want to be on the best show 5 million copies um
he said like hey
you can get there but we have to start somewhere else
so what if what is a more realistic approach
for somebody who is starting out
maybe they're not new entrepreneur or they're
maybe they're new to this media space
what would be some of the things you'd recommend
for that person to be seen
and also start making progress
uh if you don't have an email list of people
in your community or in your particular space
start one well
start with 5 people and build it up
so the first thing I ask a new client is
who in your business community family
personal community church
whatever is in the media
do you know anybody who has a podcast
who has a radio show who's on local TV newspapers
digital write down those names and emails
and if you haven't contacted them in a in a while um
send them an email I'm going into business
I'm going to be selling salad spinners and this is why
and this is why I love them
and I take them to the nursing home
tell them a story
tell them why this is important to you
and I would love to get your thoughts or advice
or opportunities or whatever
start sending those emails
so that by the time you hire me
or another publicist
to start sharing your story on these different venues
you will have some people to share with
because knowing the person
there's a connection there and finding that connection
whether you went to the same college
or the minute somebody hears
I'm from Chicago
we spend the first five minutes talking about
growing up in Chicago
and the food in Chicago and the weather in Chicago
so you have touch points
which I Learned as a marketing term
from a good friend of mine
who's into marketing um
you have things that people have in common
so we have children so we're both mothers you know um
anything that somebody you know
obviously everybody has a family um
and some of these causes are are a touchstone
if if you know
somebody is involved in the alzheimer's community
or senior rights or any of these things
even politics these are things that you have in common
so start building a list of emails
and if you know the person really well
and you think that they somebody can help you
get on your local news or in your local
you know um lifestyle magazine
pick up the phone um
send an email follow up if nothing happens in a vacuum
if you don't follow up those emails and calls
then you're just one of 20
or 300 people that reached out that day
so if it's important to you
stay on top of it keep a list
check it off this you know yeah
you're gonna get knows
and you're gonna get people who say
I can't help you or I don't know
what you're talking about
or I don't have the time or I'm going to
you know Luxembourg next week
and I'll check back with you the twelveth of never
but I never get discouraged
it's always one step forward and um
so
start with those people who might be able to help you
go to a chamber meeting
go to a women's networking meeting
belong to I belong to six writers organizations
and three public relations organization
and it's all about networking and people say why
and God's Greeners
would a publicist who's competing with you
that's what people say
want to give you advice about um
prices or packages or anything that they offer
and I said um
that's a good question
cause I go to people on a pretty regular basis
and we have a little brainstorming
and I was like I don't know
I mean
I think I'm pretty likeable and we have a good time
but maybe they want to uh
me to owe them a favor that I'm gonna come back
maybe they're gonna have a difficult client
that they can't do anything with
that nobody likes anything about them
and maybe
I can do something that'll make their client happy
I don't know
but I do it on a regular basis and people tell me
you know what their prices are
so I know I can be competitive
they tell me what their game plans are
they tell me what they do for you know
difficult clients and happy clients
and we just share information
and sure maybe I'll reach out to 10 people
and one or two won't have the time
or won't be interested so
start thinking about who can help you on this journey
both in the sense of a media uh
and um I mean
if your brother in law
does public service announcements
for W H y y um
which is the TV's PBS TV and Philly for God's sake
call him and say I wanna do something like that
can you help me get in to W H a y and
and always look at what's in your backyard
so no matter where you are
you know California
Arizona anywhere in the country and the world
there are local resources
there are little newspapers
there are regional magazines and they all need stories
so you know
be thinking about I always say to my clients
be thinking about the two
or the five
or the 10 things that you want the world to know
about your book
or your company or your brand or your life
and always pepper it with um
what is family mean to you
if I gave you a free weekend
how would you spend it cause
they don't wanna just know about those salad spinners
they wanna know about your hike
that you took with the little ones
and how you strapped in the baby for the first time
and you went camping
and you ran out of bug spray that makes you human
so find those you little human nuggets
so that we can all fall in love with you
so we will buy 1 million salad spinners
it's not about the product
it's about falling in love with the person
trusting the person
seeing if you can work together and
and making it all fit
you can tell I love what I do yeah
you're telling story
you telling powerful stories the whole time
so this is this is gold
if everybody listening write this down
find Deborah work of her and yeah
so much that I'm taking away from listing
you know what's funny this is already that I took on
I started because I got laid off right
and I didn't know anybody in the space
and I full heartedly believe in the power of connection
because of us having this conversation
because the people that are now in my life
that I now talk on Daily Basic
because how my life has changed for the better
because I took the chance to start reaching out to
people haven't heard from probably half of them
but the people that are there
changed my life in so much so
that I'm considering writing a book
on the power of connection
because I truly believe it has
this is what changes the world
like if you make and you embraced it
so I'll keep you all posted listening to this
I'll share a little more around that
but um so powerful Deborah for people who listens like
oh my gosh that was incredible
I love her device I'd love to work with her more
how can people find you and how can they work with you
my website is sitting with the stars at Godaddy sites
com
a little complicated there
my email is probably the easiest
Deborah Wallace at Verizon dot net
it's d E
B R a w a L L a C E all one word at Verizon dot net uh
I'm also on LinkedIn under Deborah Wallace
you'll see parade magazine and all this writer stuff
I'm also on Facebook um
talk about connections really quickly
I was at a QVC event interviewing Ryan Seacrest
it's one of my favorites
he was on Kelly and Ryan at the time
and I'm walking around and it's really noisy
before Covid before the bar mitzvah
and I meet a woman named Jamie Kern Lima
who was the founder of it cosmetics
yeah yeah
I definitely know her my mother was a very big fan
and I told my mother in this very crowded ballroom
that I'm standing a foot away from Jamie
and I'm about to talk to her
she's showing me samples
and I'm gonna write about her one day
and my mother says
please tell Jamie how much I love her
you know the customer service
the product she was just a big big fan
I tell Jamie this we part ways well
she wrote two books
one that just came out a few weeks ago
and one about a year year and a half ago
and when I pitched them to write stories for parade
at other publications I said
I'm writing to you
because my mother loved you and your company
and I see that connection that
you know my mother has since passed
but you know
when I was going through things
there was all this
these cosmetics and it just put a smile on my face
and my mother was beautiful
fashionable woman whose hair was perfect
and the makeup and the outfits and all that stuff
no sweats for her no loungewear
you know just beautiful even to go to the mailbox
and when I interviewed Jamie
you know we kind of cheered up
uh about that connection with our mother
so we all have connections in our life
and we just don't always notice them or um
or or make these heartfelt
um hmm
connections I mean we
you know they're there
we just have to find them and notice them
and believe in ourselves and what we're doing
and uh
if anybody watching this wants to reach out by email or
or find me on Instagram or um Facebook
please do um
and I'd love to help you with your journey
whoever you are
beautiful
thank you for wrapping up this important reminder of
just reminding the thank you for wrapping
up this important reminder of being human in the pitch
right you approach not like oh
I wanna I wanna do this because you're so famous
you're like here's the human experience that we shared
here is where I think would be valuable to you
and that was something that made that successful
so beautiful beautiful wrap up
and here right off track
we wrap up with three rapid 5 questions
so whenever you're ready let me know
I am let me take one sip of water
okay let's go
hmm
um let's see
favorite story you covered in why
oh god I went to the kosher dairy restaurant of um
owned and operated by Steven Spielberg's mother
I was living in South Florida
I went to LA she said no I said please
she said all right
call me a couple days before we went
my husband and I
she fed us everything you can imagine on the menu
uh I have pictures with her and um
she just talked about being Spielberg's mom
and what it was like you know
to have given birth to the guy who did Schindler's list
and et and um
she was lovely and it was fun
and uh
I've written a lot of stories about her and the family
and you know
just and years later when I talked to Steven Spielberg
which was such a mind blowing moment
um I was able to say
you know that he and his
his mom and I broke bread
so that was one of the big ones
amazing okay
you're incredible love this okay
how do you handle writer's block
any quick tip around that
I if the deadline is not imminent
like it's not due tomorrow morning
I will give myself a little Grace
I'll get the tea and the hallmark movie of the magazine
and hang out or spend a little extra time with my son
but it happened last week
I just was tired the weather
you know allergies
and at some point I said to myself and my son
it's over like the
the rest period you just have to sit there
and get something on the page
and edit it later but deadlines are deadlines
and some editors will give you an extra day or two
nobody's giving you an extra week
so you just have to be disciplined
and if you're not in the mood
at 2 o'clock in the afternoon and
you know everything's going on and my son needs me
then eight nine
10 o'clock at night
but you know
put the pedal to the metal and
and get back at it you just have to make yourself
it's kinda like my life is like a college course
you know always doing homework
whenever my son says I have too much homework
my life is homework um
but if you don't wanna do the writing
then go do the research go do the reading
or go do something that's gonna help you
or I used to ask my mom
you have three assignments hard
middle and easy
my mother took the hard got it out of the way
and then the other two were piece of cake
I tend to do the easier
the middle and save the hard for last
so and clearly it's working clearly it's working
so find find your tune okay
last but not least in the positive sense
going off track is
going off track opens you to new possibilities uh
you know
don't say no if somebody you know I don't do this
why why don't you do that
is it because you're not a mathematician
somebody's asking you to do statistics
or
because you've just never really thought about doing
even a piece of it like I don't create websites
I write website copy
so saying that I don't do websites would be wrong
but when people come to me and say well
you know I have somebody who's gonna design it
and who's gonna put the pictures on
and all those tabs and all those technical things
can you do the rest and I can't
so open yourself up to new possibilities and um
what's the worst thing that can happen
you won't like it and you won't do it again
this is beautiful thank you so much for joining us
thank you so much for shining an example of what means
to not underestimate oneself
not underestimate others
to find a cause in your life that you truly believe in
and the power of being authentic
and showing up to the world and spying others
and then of course
thank you so much for giving us incredible tips
for people on different parts of their journey
who also want to bring inspiration to others
through this channel of media
of Debra thank you
and to everybody listening
please share with us where are you on this journey
what stood out to you what advice do you have
or questions do you have
that happy to share of Debra as well
and as always
thank you so much for coming right off track of us
let's take over the world together
right off track until next event ever
thank you thank you very much
it was a pleasure my pleasure